Last year, at the CGN International Conference, my friend and colleague Nick Cady and I had the privilege of collaborating to create something we believe to be extremely needed in this cultural moment: a workshop for pastors and leaders, aimed at understanding doubt and deconstruction and ministering to those who struggle.

Our workshop delved into understanding the issue from its core and exploring potential solutions. The response was overwhelmingly positive, and it inspired us to go a step further. We’re now transforming this content into practical resources for pastors, leaders, and anyone in ministry eager to help, as Jude says, “having mercy on those who doubt; saving others by snatching them out of the fire” (Jude 1:22-25).

As many of you might be aware, the deconstruction movement has become quite prevalent. It’s not just a phase for the young; it affects people across all ages within the church, leading to doubts and often a departure from faith. This isn’t always simply about rebellion or a desire to ‘sin’ – the situation is far more complex than that.

Take Nick’s experience, for instance. He went through his own period of doubt and deconstruction while serving as a young pastor… an experience that shook him to his core and propelled him deeper into his faith as he studied to find answers.

I, too, have faced my share of doubts, and seen young people in my ministry, and peers from my Christian community, go through similar struggles. There are myriad reasons behind these journeys, and understanding them is crucial.

Video Series

Here are parts 1-3 of the series, covering the problem and roots of Christian Deconstruction. We hope to have another set of videos out early 2024, discussing solutions. Stay tuned for that. And if these videos bless you, please share them with your ministry teams, or anyone struggling through this issue.

If this content is helpful to you, or if you have feedback, we’d love to know. You can email AaronSalvato@Calvarychapel.com

In our series, we dive into the roots of the modern deconstruction movement. We examine influences like postmodern philosophy and how they shape our cultural moment. We also distinguish between personal struggles with doubt and the broader ‘#deconstruction’ movement that’s gaining momentum on social media.

Our exploration includes various causes of deconstruction, ranging from rejection of the religion one was raised in, to personal traumas such as abuse, hypocrisy, and corrupted theology. The goal of these resources is to equip pastors and leaders with knowledge, compassion, and Christ-centered approaches to support those grappling with these challenges.

This epidemic is one that requires insight and sensitivity. We want to help foster within CGN an approach that is informed, compassionate, and deeply rooted in Christ’s truth and love.

Further Resources:

• CGN Doubt & Deconstruction Resources for Pastors and Leaders
  • This is a massive list we put together filled with books, podcasts, videos, and more on this issue.
• My conversation with Evan Wickham on Hope for Doubters & Deconstructors
  • Evan has spent years working with people struggling through these issues. As a pastor who was stationed in Portland, Oregon, he has a ton of great insight.
• The Full Audio Workshop Nick Cady & I did at the 2023 CGN Conference.
  • If you want to hear the full workshop audio, here’s a recording. The video series goes through the content much more slowly and in depth, but the audio workshop had some good Q&A at the end as well.
• My follow-up conversation with a local pastor asking some clarifying questions.
  • My friend Johnny Zacchio, Jr. had some great follow-up questions around this topic, so I answered them in this podcast.

As humans, we all have dreams and aspirations. We want to build, create, and achieve great things. It’s natural to desire success, recognition, and a sense of purpose. However, what happens when our ambitions and desires clash with God’s will for us? In the story of the Tower of Babel, we see a clear example of God intervening in humanity’s pursuits.

In Genesis 11:4 we hear a story about ambitious humans: “Then they said, ‘Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves.'”

Isn’t this just so relatable? The people of Babel were driven by a desire for glory, to achieve greatness and be recognized for their accomplishments.

This same desire is evident in the way we use social media today. We often seek recognition, attention, and validation through the likes, comments, and followers we accumulate. We use social media as a platform to showcase our accomplishments, our best selves, and our curated lives.

The people of Babel wanted to build a tower that would reach the heavens, a monument to their own greatness and power. However, Yahweh saw this as a threat, and so He confused their language, causing them to scatter and abandon their project.

At first glance, this may seem like a harsh punishment. After all, the people of Babel were only trying to achieve their dreams, right? But I propose that there’s more to this story than meets the eye.

Humanity’s Quest for Self-Determination

To understand the Tower of Babel, we must first look at the deeper theological ideas at play. At its core, this story is about humanity’s quest for self-determination. Just as Eve and Adam sought to define good and evil for themselves in the Garden of Eden, so too did the builders of Babel seek to define their own destiny, apart from God’s guidance.

When I said that Yahweh saw the people of Babel’s actions as a threat, you might assume that I meant a threat to His own power or authority. Not the case… Mere mortals could never hope to overturn Yahweh. … It’d be like an ant trying to crush a lumberjack. So impossible it’s actually humorous.

However, I suggest that He knew that Babel was a threat to humanity’s very existence. Yahweh knew that humanity had the power to destroy itself, as was previously seen in the days of Noah. Plus, He knew the fiendish demonic forces were actively seeking to undermine and destroy His creation.

The Tower of Babel represented humanity’s desire for self-glory, a desire that was rooted in pride and the original sin of the demons. They thought they could rule heaven and earth better than God, and this poisonous mentality was then spread to humanity. The pursuit of power and self-glory was a dangerous path that would lead humanity away from God’s will, and ultimately toward destruction.

In our modern world, this idea of submitting to God’s authority can seem archaic and outdated. We’ve been steeped in postmodern philosophy (whether wittingly or unwittingly) that values individual autonomy above all else. We want the freedom to define our own truths and make our own way in the world.

And yet, as Bob Dylan so profoundly observed, “It may be the devil or it may be the Lord, but you’re gonna have to serve somebody.”

Despite our desires for independence and self-determination, we are constantly faced with choices that require us to submit to someone else’s authority, whether it be societal norms, cultural expectations, or even our own inner demons.

The truth is, we all have a master, whether we realize it or not. The question is, who or what are we serving? Are we serving a higher power that embodies love, justice, and compassion? Or are we serving a darker force that thrives on greed, selfishness, and hatred? Dylan’s message is clear: we cannot escape the fact that we are servants, but we do have a choice about who or what we serve.

If we reject God’s authority, we unwittingly submit ourselves to the authority of secular culture and the false gods that manipulate it. We become slaves to our own desires, always seeking more and never finding true satisfaction.

God’s Protective Love

So, why did Yahweh intervene in the Tower of Babel? Was it simply a matter of asserting His own authority over humanity? I propose that it was an act of protective love.

Just as a parent must sometimes say no to a child’s requests in order to keep them safe, so too does God sometimes crush our dreams out of mercy and love for us. He knows what will cause us to stumble, what we can’t handle, and what will ultimately lead us away from Him.

The builders of Babel were so focused on their own goals that they lost sight of God’s plan for humanity. They were building a monument to themselves, rather than building a life of love with their creator and Father.

And so, Yahweh intervened, not to punish them, but to redirect them back to His will.

Submitting to God’s Authority

As modern people, it can be difficult to submit to God’s authority. We want to be in control, to define our own destiny. But what if we were to let go of that desire for control and trust in God’s plan for our lives?

In the same way that a potter molds clay into a beautiful vessel, so too does God shape and guide us toward our true purpose. We may not always understand His methods or His timing, but we can trust that He has our best interests at heart.

It’s funny how we humans are obsessed with building monuments to ourselves. Every statue was erected by someone who thought it would make their name live forever. But let’s be honest, most people pass a statue and are too self-absorbed to even read the name on the plaque. Most statues just sit there covered in pigeon droppings, empty monuments to dead men.

It’s like we’re trying to create a legacy that will outlast our own lives, but in the end, it’s all just a bit silly. What if we focused on building a legacy of love, service, and sacrifice in service of the one name that will outlast us all: Jesus?

Let’s not be like the builders of Babel, seeking to build our own kingdoms at the expense of God’s will.

Gratitude for God Crushing My Dreams

As I reflect on my own life, I’m filled with gratitude for the times when God crushed my dreams. At the time, it was hard to see the purpose behind it all, but looking back, I can clearly see His guiding hand at work.

For example, I remember the soul-crushing feeling of being in elementary school and realizing the girl I had a crush on was never going to like me back. The thing is, if God had let me marry the first girl I ever had a crush on way back on the elementary school playground, I wouldn’t have the wonderful life I have today with my best friend and wife, Brooklynn. We have built a beautiful life together, and I can’t imagine it any other way. To go even further, if God had allowed my first tiny romantic dreams to come true, our son Jack, who brings us so much joy and laughter, wouldn’t exist. That’s sobering!

If God had let me fulfill my teenage dream to go to LA, attend film school, and become an actor/director, I would never have had the amazing life as a youth pastor, a job I consider one of my greatest privileges in life. I’ve had the opportunity to impact the lives of young people in a powerful way, and I have a large group of former students that feel like a second family to me.

And if God had let us move to Ireland like I wanted a few years ago, I wouldn’t have learned the countless valuable lessons I’ve learned here in Oklahoma, lessons about my identity being in who I am to Jesus, and not in what I do. I’ve discovered the beauty and purpose of living a simple life, rooted in community and faith, and I’m grateful for the ways in which God has shaped me through this experience, not to mention the rich ways He’s grown my marriage. I’ve learned to trust God with ministry and life, not my ambition or drive.

Looking back on all of these experiences, I’m humbled and grateful for God’s guidance and protection. He knew what was best for me, even when I didn’t, and He worked all things together for my good. I wouldn’t trade God’s will for anything.

To me, the Tower of Babel is a reminder that God’s ways are not our ways. Sometimes, He must crush our dreams in order to guide us toward His purpose for our lives. It may be difficult to let go of our own desires and submit to His authority, but doing so is the key to finding true fulfillment and purpose in life. We must trust in His guiding hand and be grateful for the ways in which He has worked in our lives.

Conclusion

As we navigate the complexities of modern life, let’s remember that we’re not the masters of our own destiny. We’re called to serve God and follow His plan for our lives. This may require us to let go of our own desires and ambitions, but in doing so, we open ourselves up to the limitless possibilities of His love and grace.

In the end, the story of the Tower of Babel is not a cautionary tale about the dangers of ambition or the perils of human progress. It’s a story about the redemptive power of God’s love and His desire to protect us from ourselves. May we all have the wisdom and courage to submit to His loving authority and find our true purpose in life.

In this episode, Aaron is joined by guest Nate Holdridge to discuss the anonymity of pastoral work. While pastoral work may seem like a public job in this age of celebrity pastors, Nate argues that embracing the anonymous aspects of this work is a better path, and essential for the pastor’s soul.

Using Paul’s image of the farmer and the field, Nate highlights that the pastor, like a farmer, is a mere worker employed by God. The only one in the equation that matters is God, who gives the growth. This means that good pastoral work has a tinge of anonymity, where pastors do work that is often unseen and are there for the service of the field. They cannot produce fruit on their own.

Throughout the episode, Aaron and Nate discuss various topics, including the comparison game that can steal a pastor’s joy, and the importance of faithfulness. They also delve into the idea that growth of depth is more valuable than numerical growth, and that workaholism can be harmful to the pastor’s soul.

The pressure that millennial pastors feel to live up to the older generations, and the pitfalls of pastors building a social media platform for themselves, are also explored. Nate shares his views on why pastors should consider the anonymous aspects of their work as a healthy antidote to the temptations and pressures that come with the public nature of pastoral work.

We believe this episode will encourage pastors who are working hard but feeling unseen. No matter the size of your church or the length of your time in ministry, pastoral work is often challenging and can feel lonely. It is easy to get caught up in the comparison game, social media pressure, and the drive for numerical growth. However, we hope that this episode speaks to your heart and reminds you that it is the Lord who brings the harvest. May you be reminded that no matter how unseen your work may feel, it is essential and valued in the eyes of God.

—

Nate Holdridge has served as senior pastor of Calvary Monterey on California’s central coast since 2008. Calvary’s vision is to see Jesus Famous. Nate teaches and writes with that aim at nateholdridge.com.

Nate also leads the Jesus Famous Podcast, conducting interviews and discussions that help keep Jesus first. He has also written The No-Nonsense Biblical Man, Dear New Dad, Whole-Hearted Work, (un)Reasonable Faith, and more. Nate also serves as a member of the Executive Team of Calvary Global Network.

Doubt, often regarded as the evil twin brother of faith, is a condition that frequently casts a long shadow over the believer’s life. Many grow up in the Church with the idea that “good Christians never doubt,” all the while struggling under the weight of crippling doubt themselves.

It is far too ordinary for the young Christian to hide their doubts, never wanting to raise their hand in the Sunday-school classroom for fear of looking foolish at best or being judged as one of little faith at worst. So, doubts are suppressed, buried deep within the psyche. Eventually, the young Christian finds themself stepping outside of their Christian bubble and into a secular environment where the dam of unanswered questions finally bursts, unable to withstand the pressures of postmodern and post-Christian culture.

For the Christian struggling with doubt, following Jesus can feel like reaching for the light while you sink into the depths of the ocean.

I would assert that this sad reality does not have to be the fate of our youth. Instead, we may turn to the Scriptures to see the straightforward reality that doubt need not be the end of robust faith, but rather, the beginning!

Throughout the pages of the Bible, we repeatedly see that God does not reject those who doubt; rather, He works in and through them despite their doubts.

Character Study: Doubting Thomas

Now there is no better character with which we could start our examination of this theme than the disciple known to many as “doubting Thomas.” Note that this nickname was not given to him by his mentor, Jesus, but rather by Christians in modernity. They identify him by his doubt, but the question we must ask is, “How does the Lord Jesus identify him?” and even further, “How does Jesus respond to those who doubt?”

The answer is found in the Gospel accounts. In the latter half of John chapter twenty, we find Thomas struggling with his doubts and discouragements. Earlier in the chapter, we observe the risen Jesus appearing to Mary Magdalene and ten of the remaining eleven disciples.

Thomas, however, is not present for these miraculous encounters. When the others joyfully tell him Jesus is alive, Thomas has a hard time believing this, having just witnessed his lord and master beaten and crucified on a Roman cross. Thomas responds to the others with a skepticism born out of deep grief, saying, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25).

A week later, Jesus directly responds to Thomas’ doubt. He appears before Thomas, saying, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

It could be easy for us to focus merely on Jesus’ words at the end of the verse, “stop doubting and believe,” yet we must remember not to divorce the words of Christ from the actions of Christ. The passage’s focus is not on a God demanding His follower stop doubting. It is on a God willing to reveal Himself to a struggling doubter experiencing the dark night of the soul.

Philosopher Dallas Willard notes:

“Let’s remember that Jesus didn’t leave Thomas to suffer without the blessing of faith and confidence; he gave him the evidence he required. That is typical of Jesus’s approach to doubt; he responded to honest doubters in the way he knew best, the way that would help them to move from doubt to knowledge.”

In His actions, Jesus reveals a heart full of love for “doubting Thomas.” He does not storm into the room, demanding Thomas fall to his knees and repent from his foolishness. Instead, He shows up with evidence and relational experience. The result is Thomas declaring, “My Lord, and my God!” (John 20:28).

Pastor David D. Flowers writes:

“Jesus’ willingness to accommodate Thomas’ unbelief is a reminder that God can handle our doubt. And that the rationalist doesn’t need to see, touch, or run a lab test in order to believe in the resurrected Christ. Jesus told him, “You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me” (Jn 20:29) This is not a plea to accept what goes against reason, but it is an invitation to discover a faith that goes beyond it. The example of Thomas is for the stubborn skeptic in us all.”

The Hall of Faith / The Hall of Doubt

We see in this story the willingness of Jesus to tear down relational walls between His followers and Himself, to bridge the gap between doubt and knowing. This theme is not unique to the New Testament.

Consider the famous “hall of faith” in Hebrews chapter eleven. Many revered characters are listed in this passage specifically for their faith. For example, we are told that by faith Noah built an ark, Abraham traveled to a distant land, Sarah had a son in old age, Moses left a life of royalty to lead God’s people to freedom, and Samson defeated the Philistines.

However, carefully examining the Hebrew Scriptures will reveal a dark mirror in the hall of faith. Nearly every character praised for their faith in Hebrews eleven also has moments of doubt recorded in Scripture.

By doubt, Noah becomes drunk and brings sin into his family. Abraham sleeps with a servant girl because he does not trust God to allow his aging wife to get pregnant. Sarah laughs when God says she will bear a child. Moses murders an Egyptian man and flees into the desert. Samson sacrifices his calling and strength for frivolous sex.

Despite all these moments of doubt, these flawed characters I have listed are celebrated for their faith. This reveals a core component of God’s heart: He is a God who can put up with our doubts. He is more than willing to work in and through us despite our tendency to doubt. He is not looking for perfect faith. Rather, He is looking for a willingness to believe, even if imperfectly. He desires to hear us say, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24).

In his analysis of the thinking of Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard, philosophy professor Donald Palmer writes:

“Kierkegaard’s argument runs something like this: The negative is present in all consciousness. Doubt accentuates the negative, Belief chooses to cancel the negative. Every mental act is composed of doubt and belief, but it is belief that is the positive, it is belief that sustains thought and holds the world together.”

Indeed, every moment the Christian makes is composed of either doubt or belief. One may be a believer sitting in the Sunday sermon but turn into a doubter and functional atheist the moment he pulls up the balance on his bank account. Nevertheless, Jesus seems to invite us into each moment with the reassurance that He is there, walking with us through these moments of doubt.

Character Study: Peter

Another fantastic character study is the Apostle Peter. Interestingly, we give the title “the doubter” to Thomas, yet it is Peter who has not one but two moments of severe doubt recorded in the New Testament. At the sham trial of Jesus, Peter doubts the Lord’s ability to keep him safe, so when others nearby ask if he is a disciple of Christ, he denies three times that he even knows Jesus at all (Luke 22:54-62).

One of Peter’s greatest moments of faith is immediately followed by one of his greatest moments of doubt. By faith, he literally walks on water, stepping out of the boat to meet Jesus among the waves. By doubt, Peter sinks, noticing the severity of the storm and doubting the power of Christ to keep him afloat.

Matthew writes:

Jesus immediately reached out His hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:32).

Again, we must not divorce Jesus’ words from His actions. It was the power of Christ that allowed Peter to walk on water. It was the love of Christ that pulled him up when he sank. In Peter’s most significant moments of faith and doubt, the constant factor was Jesus being present with him. He does not allow Peter to sink into his doubts but instead pulls him upward and onward.

We see this further when at the end of John’s Gospel, Jesus restores Peter to ministry with a merciful breakfast on the beach. This posture towards doubters goes even beyond Thomas and Peter.

In a sermon on doubt, Pastor Evan Wickham says this:

“In Matthew 28:17 we see the reaction of his disciples “when they saw him, they worshiped him, but some doubted.” The resurrected Jesus is now physically standing before them and some are still in doubt! That is fascinating to me. It gets even better… in his very next statement, Jesus still commissions them!

To believers and doubters alike, he says, “go and make disciples.” On that Hilltop, alongside the risen Jesus, the believers and the doubters both belonged. This story provokes us to open up to the best news in the universe: we are all invited to belong to something bigger and more beautiful than we dare to dream.”

Conclusion

I genuinely believe that if we are to help the future generations of Christians, we must teach them not to suppress doubt but embrace it as an utterly regular part of the faith life and journey. A doubt held under the lordship of Christ is an invitation not to deconstruct one’s faith but to journey into deeper knowing as we “ask, seek, and knock.”

One can hold a theological doubt in tension with trusting that God is good and that in time, whether directly through His Spirit or the mentorship of Spirit-filled Christians, He will meet us right where we are at to “show us the holes in His hands.”

Whether we find ourselves walking on water or sinking into the waves of doubt, we can trust He is present, patient, and loving, hand outstretched, willing to pull us deeper into faith, and willing to put up with our doubts every step of the way.

It is when we understand and fully embrace this truth that I believe we can help Christians, both young and old, move beyond the shadow of a doubt.

If you enjoyed this article, Aaron has a sermon the article was based off of. Feel free to listen and share it with anyone you know who is struggling with doubt!

Throughout our lives many of us have heard older generations harken back to a time when Christians were accepted, praised, and embraced by the culture.

Everyone went to Church on sundays. People seemed to hold a Christian worldview and morality, and it was rare to find someone who didn’t believe in Heaven or Hell. A world that was positive towards Christians.

Some people my age remember a more neutral world, where Christianity was seen as one of many belief systems free thinkers could choose from.

But today, many are talking about the negative world, a shift where the views of the culture have become much more hostile against Christians.

Do these views have validity, or are they an overblown exaggeration? What does this mean for the Church? And how can we react to it in a way that’s true with who we are as Christ followers?

Today on the GoodLion Podcast, I sit down with Mike Doyle, founder and lead pastor of Movement Church in NYC, to chat about this complex issue. Later in the episode I’ll be joined by Brian Higgins to dive further into how we can respond to this concept.

I really enjoyed these convos, and as This episode is the first of a 3 part series on the Negative World, there will be more good convos to come.

We hope it helps you think and consider how to walk wisely as a Jesus follower, and to consider the ways the world is changing, but also how our mission as Christians never changes.

You’re listening to the GoodLion Podcast!

Defensive violence, wounded Healers, and how radical enemy-love changes the world! So often as Christians we feel we must defend Jesus and lash out at those who are against Him. Too often we take the path of Peter and chop off the ear of someone who needs healing from Christ. In this episode, Aaron walks us through what he’s learned about the Way of Jesus, and how though Peter’s actions came from a noble place, we can learn from his mistakes and follow Jesus better when it comes to loving our enemies.

#doubt #deconstruction #exvangelical #churchhurt #enemylove #thewayofjesus #wayofjesus #violence #hatred #healing