Who do you love? There are so many people that come to mind. Nevertheless, they might not be the ones that God has destined me to love. Have you ever wanted to know, “Lord, who are the people that I am destined to love?” The author of the Book of Hebrews has some clues for us. Before I reveal your true love list, it is necessary to briefly recall what the Book of Hebrews is about.

The Book of Hebrews makes a compelling case that Jesus is greater than: angels, prophets, Moses, the sacrificial system, the priesthood, the temple and His New Covenant is superior to the Old. Jesus’ greatness inspires great love! Jesus’ followers are to reveal that Jesus is greater than anything else by how they live, and whom they love.

In difficult times, we tend to focus more on our circumstances and selves instead of focusing on Christ and others. Hebrews is addressed to Jewish Christians who were suffering for their faith in Jesus and were tempted to abandon Jesus for ritual Judaism. After demonstrating how Jesus is superior, we are then challenged to live like Jesus and love others rather than being self-focused. In addition to loving Christ supremely, here is a list of your five true loves:

1. Love other believers.

“Let brotherly love continue” (Heb. 13:1). Love one another like a family. Before it can continue, it needs to exist. If you are isolated from a true community of other believers, you need to seek it and develop it. Once it exists, you need to vigorously maintain it. Loving other believers and being loved by them is enriching and transforming. Furthermore, it stirs the world to jealousy. Genuine love among believers is the evidence that we are Christ’s disciples (Jn.13:35), and that kind of community is so attractive to non-believers.

2. Love those who are unable to benefit you materially.

“Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels. Remember the prisoners as if chained with them—those who are mistreated—since you yourselves are in the body also” (Heb. 13:2-3). Strangers, prisoners and the mistreated rarely have much to offer in the material sense. Showing hospitality to strangers and prisoners is often inconvenient, and occasionally, frightening. In context, the author of Hebrews was likely thinking of those who were suffering because of their faith in Christ. But the principle has broad application. We are encouraged by the unexpected benefits, for by so doing, some have unwittingly entertained angels. You never know whom you are blessing. You might entertain an angel like Abraham did (Gen. 18:1-22), or simply discover the great value of loving without expectation of any return. Undoubtedly, you will show the type of love that draws people to Jesus, the source of that love.

You might be surprised that people are not always “what or who” they appear to be. One time, when I was speaking at a conference, I saw a man who appeared “homeless.” I tried to show the love of Christ by approaching and engaging him in conversation. We were talking for quite a while, right up until the host introduced the worship leader for the event, and my new friend excused himself to go on stage. You just never know, it might be Jesus that you are showing kindness to (Matt. 25:35-36). So, treat those in need like a fellow human being created in His image, rather than a project.

3. Love your Spouse.

“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Heb. 13:4). Marriage is the most noble and blessed relationships between people. There is no other relationship designed by God to forge two distinct people into one (Gen. 2:24). Marriage is to display the love that Christ has for His bride the church (Eph. 5:32). Sexual intimacy is reserved for the marriage relationship. It is one of many fringe benefits of marriage (1 For. 7:2-5, Song of Solomon). Respecting God’s boundaries will display your love for Christ as well as your love for your spouse. Be faithful and don’t defile your marriage by sexual intimacy prior to marriage (fornication) or sex outside of your marriage (adultery). That type of love for Christ and for your future or present spouse is noteworthy and attracts people to Christ.

4. Love your neighbor.

“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say: ‘The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?’” (Heb. 13:5-6). The principle is to be content not covetous, yet covetousness is related to our neighbor (Ex. 20:17). Coveting is primarily an attitude, but here the directive relates to behavior, “Let your conduct be without covetousness …” If I am jealous of my neighbor’s house, spouse, kids, wealth, career or other stuff and long for my neighbor’s life (coveting), I have effectively lost the ability to show how great Jesus is.

On the other hand, when I display the reality that Jesus is greater than all my neighbor’s stuff, then it is reasonable for my neighbor to be jealous and want what I have – Jesus. You are even reminded why Jesus is better than your neighbor’s stuff. First, He will never leave or forsake you. Stuff and people are always separated from you, but Jesus never will be. Second, He is ever present to help you, so you need not fear. Real contentment in this life flows from trusting Jesus not things. Jesus brings greater security than stuff. When you are content in Christ, you can love your neighbor.

5. Love your spiritual leaders.

“Remember those who rule over you, who have spoken the word of God to you, whose faith follow, considering the outcome of their conduct” (Heb. 13:7). Those who teach sound doctrine, live sound doctrine and lead with sound doctrine are a gift from God. Love and respect them and follow them as they follow Christ. Let them lead with joy and not grief, because ultimately, it will be best for you (Heb. 13:17).

Who else are you destined to love?

“You shall go… and take a wife for my son Isaac.” Genesis 24:4

Relationships are a key part of life. Healthy relationships lead to a good life and unhealthy relationships will make life very difficult. The most important earthly relationship is marriage and who you marry is the second most important decision in life (second only to receiving Christ). Solomon wrote, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). Genesis 24 tells the story of how Isaac and Rebekah met. Their story is a bit different than most of ours because the marriage was arranged, but there are some vital principles to keep in mind for any relationship.

But he said to me, ‘The Lord, before whom I walk, will send His angel with you and prosper your way; and you shall take a wife for my son from my family and from my father’s house. Genesis 24:40

First, it is important to remember that God has a plan for you. Paul wrote that God has foreordained good works for us to walk in. That includes whom we will marry. Long before Abraham’s servant arrived at the well, the angel of the Lord was there preparing the way. To think that God has forgotten you is bad theology and often leads to bad decisions. When we forget that God has a plan for us, we get impatient and begin to settle for less. Imagine if Adam did not wait on the Lord, he may have ended up with an ape.

Secondly, we are told where they met. Abraham was adamant that Isaac’s bride not be selected from the Canaanites. The reason for this was that they were ungodly. If Isaac was going to have a good marriage he must choose a godly wife. As his servant went on the search he selected a location where the young women gathered to draw water. I have been told that the three most important rules of real estate are location, location, location. The same is true of relationships. If Isaac was going to find a godly wife, he needed to look in the right places. Too often people become lonely, impatient and discouraged. When they have not found the right someone, they lower their standards and start looking in the wrong places. Remember there are certain places that are off limits. Looking for a relationship with an unbeliever, off limits. Looking for a relationship with someone who is married, off limits. Looking for a godly relationship amidst ungodly people, foolish.

Thirdly, Abraham’s servant had a high standard. He was first taken by the beauty of Rebekah, but that beauty was soon overshadowed by her godliness. She revealed her godliness in her willingness to serve and her great faith. Having never met Isaac, she was willing to trust the Lord and move forward with the relationship. Solomon wrote,

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

One of the grave mistakes that we make is in seeking a spouse instead of seeking the Lord.

Notice also that while the servant is out searching, Isaac is at home waiting on the Lord. This serves as a vivid illustration. Isaac represents the believer waiting on the Lord and the servant represents the Holy Spirit at work. Isaac finds his bride, not by seeking her but by seeking the Lord. Jesus said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). One of the grave mistakes that we make is in seeking a spouse instead of seeking the Lord. There are things worse than being single. That is not a curse but a condition in which you must learn to trust in and walk with the Lord. Who you are and what you do while single is a picture of who you will be and what you will do when you are married. If you are discontent, distracted and compromising now, you will do the same when married. The key is to rest in Christ, trust in Him and faithfully wait for Him to provide you with your spouse.

Allow me to give one more bit of guidance. Sometimes a person will remain single because they either have unrealistic expectations of others, or they are set in their ways and unwilling to make any changes for the sake of a relationship. Relationships cannot happen if we are not willing to let go of self, humble ourselves and exalt the needs of the other. Rebekah was willing to give up her way of life for the sake of a relationship with Isaac. Isaac was willing to forsake the ways of the world around him and give himself to Rebekah alone. Once married it did not mean that life went on without difficulty. Later we will read that after twenty years of marriage, they were still unable to have children. Rather than become angry with God or their circumstances, we are told that they cried out to the Lord. The secret to solving relationship problems is found in seeking the guidance of God.

Whatever state you are currently in, whether you are single and waiting or married and struggling, the key to success is learning to trust in and wait upon the Lord. Remember, He has a plan for your life and much of that plan has to do with making you into the person He desires for you to become.