To my sons whom I love more than words can say:

“If there was only one principle that I could impart to you, what would be the most impactful for this life and the life to come? By the grace of God, the priority of this value is so clearly evident in the Scriptures that I feel confident in discussing this principle first: Love God more than anyone or anything. Nevertheless, despite it being obvious, we can be easily distracted and thus neglect this vital truth. Let’s consider the value, then I can confess where I have struggled to live it and share my journey of rediscovery.

Jesus revealed that the Greatest Commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength (Matthew 22:37-39; Deuteronomy 6:4-5). We are to love God with our thoughts, emotions, body and soul. In essence, God is to be the supreme love of our lives. Similarly, when God made a covenant with the Jews, He set apart the Ten Commandments uniquely when he wrote them on tablets in His own hand. The first four of the ten all relate to the value of loving supremely: You shall have no other God, you must not make any idol since it will diminish the glory of God, you shall revere His name, and honor the Sabbath to contemplate and worship Him (Exodus 20:1-8). So, we discover that the value of loving God more than anyone or anything else is crystal clear, but the application to our lives can be clouded and elusive. So, here’s my confession…

I was contemplating Jesus’ letter to the church at Ephesus (Revelation 2:1-7). He commends them for their sacrificial service, perseverance and endurance with difficult people and circumstances. He also affirms their sound doctrine, and that the leaders served the people rather than seeking to be served. But Jesus also gave a word of correction, “Nevertheless, I have this against you, that you have left your first love” (Revelation 2:4).

I began to wonder: How did that church receive Jesus’ correction? He truly knows the condition of our lives, and His assessment is always perfect. However, we may be unwilling to receive His correction. Did they seek to justify, defend, deflect or deny? As a quick aside, whenever there is repeated justification, defense, deflection or denial, there is likely to be spiritual and emotional unhealthiness. On the other hand, humility, receptivity and openness to correction often reflect spiritual and emotional health. As I was contemplating Jesus’ correction of the church at Ephesus, that is when the conviction came.

Several years ago, our neighbor Phyllis made the comment, “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were having an affair.” She had been observing me leave early in the morning, and frequently go out at night. And although she knew that I was going to the church, she made the tongue-in-cheek comment. What she didn’t realize was that she was right…

No I wasn’t having an affair with another woman (I’m madly in love with your mom), but in a sense, the church had become a mistress. I have to confess, there were times in the last 25+ years that I’ve allowed the ministry to become the master passion of my affections. I was seemingly more in love with the ministry than the One I was doing ministry for. It was subtle, because I love the Lord and was truly seeking to do good works for Christ and His kingdom. But there was no denying that something had taken his rightful place.

As long as I’m confessing, I should ask for forgiveness from you (I’ve already asked for forgiveness from God (1 John 1:9). To the extent that I neglected you or your mom in any way, I’m so very sorry. What I’ve come to realize is that when Christ is the master passion of my life, then I’m a better husband, father, friend/neighbor and servant. The only way that I can do those relationships well is doing my relationship with Jesus right.

For you, it may not be ministry, but there are countless other ways that someone or something can become a master passion. It could be your spouse, your kids, your friends, your career, your recreation, possessions or position. And as long as you’re not in full-blown-backslide-rebellion mode, you may not even notice that you’ve left Jesus as your first love. But you’ll suffer, and others that you love and care for will suffer; and the sooner you realize the unhealthy pitfall that you’re in the better.

You know that He deserves to be the One you love more than anything or anyone else.Jesus gave His life to give you eternal life and an abundant life in Him. You will be separated from everything and everyone else that you treasure on this earth, except for Jesus. And I’m confident that you know this and will remember this. And if sometime you discover that someone or something has become the primary focus of your affections, Jesus provides the answer. Jesus encouraged the church at Ephesus, and you and me, when He declared, “Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works …” (Revelation 2:5). First, remember a time when Jesus was your first love. Second, repent or change your thinking about Jesus and return to Him. Third, do or redo the first works. What were you doing when Jesus was your first love? Return to those disciplines such as, but not limited to, Bible learning, prayer, contemplation, serving God by serving others, worship, charitable giving and sharing your faith.

I have many values that I want to share with you, but this is the first principle to live by.

Love always,
Dad”

One of the greatest ways to reach out into your community is to meet the real needs of parents and then to share with them the love of Jesus Christ. Some of that pressure comes from the outside with education, economic, and social expectations overwhelming many parents today. And some of the challenges come from inside the family itself. Conflict between family members, lack of cooperation, resistance from children, and balancing schedule, money, and relational time make leading a family quite a challenge today.

More and more parents want closeness with their kids. They want their families to be successful and want to enjoy family life. So when the church steps in with answer that specifically address the home, parents listen. Right around your church are hundreds of families that would like advice that would make their families more successful. And you have the answers. God has given biblical principles that add to peace, closeness, and depth for any family. In fact, when a family understands God’s principles, the family itself develops a mission instead of just reacting to the chaos of life.

A tremendous tool for outreach by a church is to offer parenting seminars as an outreach to the community. Whether it’s driven by video teaching or a live presenter isn’t as important as the integrity of the biblical principles taught in a practical way. It’s not good enough to tell kids to honor and obey their parents. Kids need to know how and parents need to know how to teach those concepts without yelling at their kids. Parents want ideas for working with their teenagers and getting their kids through the day without a crisis. They want to know how to have closeness and still get things done.

As you share real solutions for the challenges parents are facing you can talk about where they come from, the Bible. You can talk about the value of the church as a family and reach out as a caring community where parents and families can find support. Most importantly, you can share with those parents the most important parenting tip available, and that is to understand who God is as Father and how a personal relationship with Jesus Christ adopts them into God’s family.

When you use parenting seminars as an outreach to the community, you’re being like Jesus. One of the ways he shared the message of the kingdom was by helping people at their point of felt need. He often used common life experiences to create interest. He talked about everyday things like water, crops, and bread and often ministered to personal needs by healing, feeding, or just enjoying social interaction. These things became vehicles for him to share the kingdom. He talked to the woman at the well about living water. He gave over 5,000 people food to eat. He healed those who came to him. Jesus was willing to help people where they were, and used those opportunities to express God’s love and share about the kingdom.

Parenting seminars today are like the feeding of the 5,000 in Jesus time. Parents are hungry for answers for their families. They want help. Parenting is a need families are willing to admit and they’ll even come to a church to find answers. Parents love their children and want the best for them, but often they lack the knowledge, wisdom, and practical ideas needed to raise healthy, responsible children.

If you want your parenting seminar to be a successful outreach, consider these things:

1) Pray for your community. Gather a group of people together who can start praying for the specific needs of families in your area. Announce the idea to your church in the idea stage as you’re praying together.

2) Plan your content well. You don’t have to be a parenting expert to teach a parenting seminar. You could bring someone in from the outside, use video presentations, or teach material from a good parenting book. Make sure that it’s both biblical and practical.

3) Choose the timing well. Any time you choose will likely conflict with youth sports and other events. Don’t be discouraged by that. Not everyone is busy every moment of the week. Some won’t come because of other commitments, but don’t let that stop you. You might choose a Saturday morning event, or Friday evening, or three Wednesday evenings. Parents are often hesitant to commit to an eight-week study but might be interested in a two week event offered four times a year.

4) Offer a children’s program. Don’t just babysit the kids, but teach them things that complement what the parents are learning. If the kids have a positive, meaningful experience, parents are more likely to come to something else like a church service.

5) Find solutions for other excuses. You might provide a low cost meal before the event to care for busy parents. Keep the cost low or offer it for free. Encourage pre-registration to enhance commitment levels. Don’t forget the grandparents since many grandparents are heavily involved in the raising of children today.

6) Promote it well. Have a team of people promoting the seminar within your church and another team of people promoting outside the church. Inform various groups and government agencies of your event since many people need court mandated parent training and can receive adoptive and foster care credits for attending a parenting seminar. Notify every preschool, day care, and after school program in your area. Those leaders work with the kids and know that the parents would benefit from some help. Sometimes even the school system will allow the promotion of a seminar conducted at your church.

7) Involve many people from your church. This is home missions, and when you present the opportunities to people, present it as a missions event, instead of simply recruiting people for tasks to be done. You’ll want help promoting, greeting, caring for children, preparing food, and then everyone ought to be encouraged to get the word out to parents they know.

A Parenting Seminar Outreach works because it connects with families and ministers to them right at their point of need. But it doesn’t stop there. A Parenting Seminar Outreach not only strengthens families but it becomes a vehicle for sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

At the National Center for Biblical Parenting we have a resource and data CD called How to Use Parenting Seminars as an Outreach to the Community.

For more ideas, resources and tools for ministering to parents you might want to visit the website of the National Center for Biblical Parenting. www.biblicalparenting.org