“What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” That was the motivational catch-phrase of years past.

Current best-selling author Brené Brown has added a significant twist by asking, “What’s worth doing even if I fail?”, crediting Theodore Roosevelt when he said, “If he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

Brown should know: She’s a researcher on vulnerability and shame whose first TED talk about these issues hit a record-breaking 10 million-plus viewers on YouTube. Her five NY Times best-selling books have been translated into numerous languages, and her various seminars, talks and articles dominate the internet, translated into many languages. The message Brown is telling the world is that vulnerability (merely showing up and being present, win or lose) is the secret to “wholehearted” living. And the world is listening.

Vulnerability in Christian Leadership

But what about the Church, particularly us as leaders within it? Are we listening (not necessarily to Brown but to this idea of vulnerability)? One would correctly argue that the Church has a different goal than the world. As the Westminster Shorter Catechism clearly states: “What is the chief end of man? To glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.”

So, we know that the “right answer” for Christians is not about succeeding or failing (or even “showing up”) but rather to “glorify God.” However, if we’re honest, the idea of glorifying God rarely allows for anything close to what one would consider “vulnerability,” let alone “failure.”

Ministry ventures that deliver “lackluster” results are often judged to be “lacking proper planning and faith” or being “outside of God’s will.” A change of direction in ministry without “logical reasoning” can also be suspect. However, might the result of those ministries’ be precisely what God had planned? Is there a possibility that those ministries fall perfectly within His will?

Peter – A Portrait in Vulnerability

In Matthew 14, we see the famous story of Peter walking on water. It began with the disciples in a boat as a storm started to form. Jesus had sent them off without Him, and then, early in the morning, He came walking across the water. They were frightened, thinking Him a ghost.

Jesus comforted them, saying, “Don’t be afraid. Take courage. I am here!”

It was only Peter who responded: “Lord if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”

In this passage, Peter’s “impulsiveness” is often made to be the focus despite the text speaking to the contrary. In reality, Peter demonstrated healthy caution (“If it’s really you”) coupled with submission shown in words (“Lord”) and actions, all with a willingness to wait on Jesus’ command (“tell me to come to you”).

It really was the Lord, and He did call Peter out. How frightening and exciting that must have been!

If Jesus had answered, “No, stay there!”, before Peter jumped out of the boat, those who remain critical of Peter’s impulsiveness might have grounds to criticize. Peter didn’t act impulsively, but instead, was merely obedient. Jesus called, and he came.

The story goes on to say how Peter saw the crashing waves and was understandably terrified, and began to sink. Thankfully, Jesus didn’t abandon him to sink completely. Peter cried out, “Save me, Lord!” And Jesus reached out and grabbed him.

Walking on Water is Not the Goal

There are many great things to observe and learn from this passage. But it is the oft over-looked conclusion of this story that may be the most critical point in the entire narrative.

“When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. Then the disciples worshiped him. ‘You really are the Son of God!’ they exclaimed.”

They saw that it was Jesus and worshiped Him!

Look at what happened here:

Peter demonstrated supernatural discernment: He recognized it was the Lord when the others were afraid, thinking He was a ghost. However, that didn’t convince those in the boat that it was indeed Jesus.

Bold declarations of submission to Jesus’ Lordship and willingness to bravely obey any command (“LORD – call me out!”) didn’t cause those in the boat to worship.

A definitive “call from the Lord” on Peter’s life still didn’t make the others in the boat realize who it was out there on the water.

Even Peter’s ability (albeit short-lived) to perform a supernatural manifestation (walking on water) had no positive impact on those in the boat.

It was when Peter began to sink, and Jesus rescued him, that those in the boat finally recognized that it was the Lord. Each one of those former fishermen had likely gone overboard at one time or another, but none of them had ever been able to save themselves. It was in Peter’s attempt to be obedient that the common weakness of his humanity revealed the strength of Jesus’ divinity. Only then was Jesus seen and worshiped by those still in the boat. To put it plainly, Peter’s “not being completely up to the task” showed how much Jesus was.

Long before He called Peter out, Jesus knew that Peter would begin to sink. From the start, Peter was insufficient for the call, but Jesus wasn’t. And He called Peter out anyway, just as Jesus has called many of us out.

Afraid of Vulnerability

Among those who strive to serve the Lord wholeheartedly, fully aware of our weaknesses, there is comfort in understanding that we are not expected to walk on water or be perfect. We know this. We remind ourselves of the truths in scripture such as, “we have this treasure in jars of clay.” So often, however, we work hard not to let any cracks in our “ministry pots” show. Like Instagram influencers setting up for a selfie, we’re sure to display only our “best side” in ministry, lest any perceived weakness or vulnerabilities show.

And this is understandable because Brown’s research overwhelmingly reveals that people equate vulnerability to weakness. In actuality, vulnerability is simply the potential for weakness. Brown’s study also showed that both acknowledging and walking into vulnerability was the most effective way to prevent mistakes and combat weaknesses. For believers, this should sound familiar, reinforcing what we accept as true; that “His strength is made perfect in weakness.”

Brown goes on to assert, “When we pretend that we can avoid vulnerability, we engage in behaviors that are often inconsistent with who we want to be.” And yet, even as Christians, so often we do exactly that; we run away from vulnerability and straight into behavior that is principally opposed to who we are and what we believe.

Because being vulnerable is frightening. Walking out on the water means we might start to sink. So, missionaries carefully craft newsletters to put the right spin on projects that didn’t turn out as planned. Photos are cropped to show a full hall, not empty chairs. Pastors stay in the pulpit even when they begin to sense a call to a different field. Changes in ministry direction are filed under the heading, “Well, we all miss God’s will sometimes.” Everything from tightly scheduled events going off schedule, to sparse turnout, to our programs, to less than “smooth operation” of our churches, you name it. And the critics send us into a tailspin of blame (self-directed more often than not), as well as doubt and depression.

So somewhere along the line, a few things begin to happen. We’re already following Jesus. We’re even gotten into the boat when so many stayed on the shore. But we can’t see everything clearly, and we begin to get frightened. So, we stop asking Jesus to call us out further. Or we don’t step out when He does call. Even if we do step out, instead of enjoying the thrill of obedience, walking with Him into the impossible, we’re preoccupied with not sinking. And when we do start to sink (as He knew we would before He even called us out), we work on damage control for those who might have seen us go under.

Jesus already knew what would happen when He called out to Peter, yet He called him out anyway. In the same way, He knows where and when we will start to sink, but He calls us out nonetheless. Why? Because God’s ultimate goal for us is not to walk on water. God’s ultimate goal (and therefore ours, too!) is that others would see Jesus and worship Him, using whatever it takes.

Embracing Vulnerability

George Markey, the founding pastor of the CC work in Ukraine, used to say, “Where we admit that we are weak, there God will be our strength. But where we try to be strong by ourselves, there God will be weak in our lives.”

This concept is made most explicit in Jesus’ life. The vulnerability that allowed Him to be tortured and crucified must have seemed like a failure to many looking on. But when God raised Jesus – fully man, dead in the weakness of human flesh – to new life, all of Creation saw Jesus, the resurrected Messiah, and worshiped Him. Showing the weakness of His humanity highlighted the strength of His divinity.

God does not ask us to be vulnerable because He delights in embarrassing us. Nothing could be farther from the truth! Rather, God’s great desire is to take us into His presence, beyond the fear of our limitations, and into the freedom of His limitless love! He invites us to be crucified with Him “in order that we too might walk in newness of life!” Vulnerability leads us to die to our sense of control, our pride, our fears and into the safety of His love. God wants us to know the power that comes when “perfect love casts out all fear.” God called His own Son to walk as a man, in ultimate vulnerability, so that Jesus might be the perfect demonstration of God’s perfect love. Jesus became vulnerable for love’s sake, and it’s for love’s sake that God calls us to vulnerability as well.

Stepping Out of the Boat

Peter stepped out. Peter made himself vulnerable, and he attempted to do what God was calling Him to do. Peter understood something that Pastor Paul Billings has said so well: “The truth is, if we don’t attempt, then we have already failed. The absence of failure is not ‘success.’ I wonder how many of us feel that we are succeeding in what God wants for us just because we aren’t experiencing failure. I would suggest that if you aren’t experiencing failure at times, then you probably aren’t attempting much.”

So, there’s Peter. He was bold, but he was also cautious. Peter waited on Jesus’ call and obeyed. He was also human, and he sank in the waves when he doubted. But he stepped out! Jesus taught him through this. More importantly, when Jesus rescued Peter out of his “human-ness,” others watching recognized that Jesus was the Savior, and they worshiped Him. Peter knew the love of his Savior. It was that love that spurred him headlong into some of the most vulnerable places of obedience.

Similarly, may we understand the love of our Savior, who modeled vulnerability to the point of death for us. May we also be willing to embrace vulnerability at His bidding; because it’s then that Jesus is revealed. And those who are watching will worship Him.

“Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love” (1 Corinthians 16:13-14).

I read the above scripture recently, and was nonplussed for a bit. How do you be brave when you know you are not brave?

Slight digressive disclosure: I am afraid of everything. It’s more than a miracle that I have been a missionary for the last 28 years. I tell prospective missionaries, if I can do it, anybody can, because it doesn’t depend on what I bring to the table. It depends on God. That’s my secret to being a missionary.

But getting back to being brave, another translation is “act like men.” Technically, I am a man. Some guys are really manly: They are often referred to as the alpha male. That’s not me. I’m not much at being a leader, I am not a dominant personality that sways crowds with magnetic charisma. (I’m not whining; I’m okay in my own skin. I do have certain life skills.)

My question was, how do I do what Paul is commanding? Seriously?

I read the next line, and it clicked: Let all that you do be done in love.

I remembered those times that I have loved, I have been utterly fearless.

Like in witnessing. When I love that other person, I have been fearless. If they brush me off, I’m not destroyed. Or I persevere after an initial brush-off, and suddenly, we are having a significant conversation; and the other person doesn’t feel like I’m pushy or obnoxious but realizes that I care. I know that I could be ridiculed or despised, but I don’t care about myself.

I have seen this fearlessness in giving money, in going on outreach trips, confronting people and doing memorial services. I could not have done them if I was concerned about myself.

That’s the great part about love. You can’t worry about yourself and the other guy at the same time. Love is concerned about the other person. That makes love the true bravery. I have been aware that something bad could happen to me. This might cost me. I could lose somehow in all this, but I’m concerned about the other person, not myself. If you were concerned about yourself, it wouldn’t be love.

So then, the challenge is to do everything in love.

Watch out because you live in love. Stand firm in the faith because you love. Be brave because you love. Be strong because you love.

One application of this exhortation is to be humble. If I am going to love, I need to be unconcerned about myself. For this, one needs Jesus.

All I do, on my own, is think about myself. I really need something to happen to me before I can love, and that is the cross. Thank God for the cross of Christ, which ends my life, so I can be joined to Christ raised from the dead.

Arrogance and thinking more highly of myself than is warranted, is out. Paul says, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4 is about love. If we are arrogant, we are not acting in love.

Another application is to love all the time.

There isn’t an appropriate time to not love. Love has to identify us. This makes me think of so-called “discernment” ministries that slice-and-dice the people they think are “off”. When do we get to be arrogant, or slander, or treat others badly?

But for me, this way to truly be brave excites me. Even a guy like me can be fearless legitimately, to be able to do the things God wants me to do. Maybe those things aren’t impressive in themselves, but for a guy who’s really not a Jason Bourne type, it’s significant.

Maybe you’ve heard of CrossFit. I’m one of those crazy people who have bought into their way of using constantly varied, functional movements at a high intensity. Basically this just means you work really hard, never at the same things, in a way that will make your everyday life better. This isn’t an ad for CrossFit, but I wanted to share a parallel I found in regards to my walk with God. CrossFit is hard and walking with God is far from an easy road at times. One of the benefits of this type of workout is that you should be ready for anything life may throw at you. This can be described as a hopper, think a drum full of different workouts or movements. The idea is that you would turn the cranks, spin the hopper and then blindly choose a workout. Some movements you would excel at; others would be more challenging and make you want to run away screaming.

The goal is to accomplish the hard stuff, rather than sticking to the things you are already good at.

Otherwise your overall fitness will be stunted.

Doesn’t life feel like this hopper sometimes? There are seasons when things seem to run smoothly, falling into place like a storybook. Other times it’s as if someone is playing a series of practical jokes on you, because nothing seems easy and everything hurts. I understand. Greg Glassman, the creator of CrossFit, said it like this: “There is more traction, more advantage, more opportunity in pursuing headlong that event or skill that you do not want to see come out of the hopper than putting more time into the ones where you already excel.”

Paul, an apostle of Jesus, talked about facing hard things like this:
“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,[a] but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us” (Philippians 3:12-14).

The natural inclination is to try to run away from the hard things, but we can’t just wish the difficulties of life away.

We have to be grown ups, don’t we? We won’t get any stronger, wiser or better equipped for what is ahead unless we run straight into what we don’t always know how to accomplish. The cool part is that God gets it; He knows the road ahead and the way to navigate it. If we will let God into our hearts and our lives, He has promised that He will walk along with us, strengthening us when we are inches away from giving up.

Life is unpredictable, something I am learning more and more each day as my two daughters are now in high school. My list of “conversations I thought I’d never have” is getting longer and longer. But something else I am learning is that once we come through a difficult conversation or an intense situation, we end up being stronger than we were before. Just as I am getting stronger by practicing new ways of fitness, I am learning to not let myself be controlled by the fear of what might possibly come out of the “hopper” of life. I can trust that no matter what is coming next, God is already there, like the best fitness coach I’ve ever had. He will correct things I am lacking, encourage me when I’m faltering and will ultimately celebrate with me when I conquer what felt unconquerable.

In Israel’s heyday, to call someone a “dog” was an insult, not a stage name in the rap game. Some say the name “Caleb” meant “dog.” Well, not anymore. The Caleb of Israel changed all that.

We know Caleb as a warrior, a man of faith, a faithful believer in the power of the God of Israel. He was no dog. Like Christ, he came from Judah. And like Christ, he was a lion of Judah. No dog in Caleb whatsoever.

Caleb, of course, had been one of the original spies sent by Moses into Canaan some 40 years earlier. He had, along with Joshua, had faith in the ability of the God of Israel. Sure, the inhabitants of Canaan were a force to be reckoned with, but God was on their side. Caleb and Joshua believed God; they believed in His power.

Caleb “with Joshua” didn’t buy into the grasshopper logic. You know the kind: “We are like grasshoppers in their sight! We will surely be defeated!” They bought more into a Pauline logic: “If God be for us, who can be against us” (Romans 8:31).

Yes, from the very beginning Caleb appeared as a man of faith. Because he believed God, he did not die with the other spies. He and Joshua lived. Joshua replaced Moses, leading the people into the Promised Land. Caleb supported him; Caleb went along for the ride. Caleb was all in.

Finally, once in the land, after 40 years of wilderness wandering, Caleb approached Joshua. They had come to the land. Caleb had never forgotten it. He had dreamed of this day. He had looked forward to getting back into that land he’d spied out so many years ago. He wanted to take it. And he had a specific piece of the land in mind.

Caleb’s Faith

“Then the people of Judah came to Joshua at Gilgal. And Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite said to him, ‘You know what the LORD said to Moses the man of God in Kadesh-barnea concerning you and me. I was forty years old when Moses the servant of the LORD sent me from Kadesh-barnea to spy out the land, and I brought him word again as it was in my heart. But my brothers who went up with me made the heart of the people melt; yet I wholly followed the LORD my God. And Moses swore on that day, saying, “Surely the land on which your foot has trodden shall be an inheritance for you and your children forever, because you have wholly followed the LORD my God'”(Joshua 14:6-9).

We first note the faith of Caleb. The original faith from 40 years earlier still pulsed through his body. With intensity, he reminded Joshua of Moses’ promise to him. According to Moses, Caleb had “wholly followed the LORD,” a phrase oft-repeated about Caleb. He was a devoted man. His faith was still alive. He still believed.

Caleb had seen the bodies fall in the wilderness. He saw God’s promises unfolding. With every funeral he attended, his faith grew. He aged. At 85 years old, he saw how God had kept His word towards Caleb. He was alive. This built up the faith that was already there. Then, he went to Joshua, overflowing with belief in what God would do.

Caleb’s faith was astounding. It was a faith that grew. It was a faith that had been tested. It was a faith that was alive. May this faith dwell in us.

Caleb’s Strength

“And now, behold, the LORD has kept me alive, just as he said, these forty-five years since the time that the LORD spoke this word to Moses, while Israel walked in the wilderness. And now, behold, I am this day eighty-five years old. I am still as strong today as I was in the day that Moses sent me; my strength now is as my strength was then, for war and for going and coming”(Joshua 14:10-11).

Secondly, we note the strength of Caleb. The claim he made was incredible. It had been a total of 45 years since the Kadesh Barnea tragedy. They’d come into the land at this point and, after a few years of fighting, Caleb was 85 years old. But you must fight against all images of all 85-year-old men you’ve ever met. Caleb was not like them. Caleb was just as strong then as he was at 40. I do not think he was self-deceived. I think God had powerfully worked in his life.

Others died, but Caleb thrived. He was more than alive; he was living. His joints and muscles and bones all radiated God’s glory, for he was still as strong as the day he spied out that land originally. He could war, no doubt about it.

Caleb’s strength was astounding. It was a strength that remained, a strength that grew. Does this not remind us of the inward strength we long to feel increase within us? Do we not want to be 85 years old with an internal power that is more than we had in our youth? Though the outward man perishes, the Spirit can make the inner man renewed day by day. May this strength fall upon us.

Caleb’s Love

“So now give me this hill country of which the LORD spoke on that day, for you heard on that day how the Anakim were there, with great fortified cities. It may be that the LORD will be with me, and I shall drive them out just as the LORD said.’ Then Joshua blessed him, and he gave Hebron to Caleb the son of Jephunneh for an inheritance. Therefore Hebron became the inheritance of Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite to this day, because he wholly followed the LORD, the God of Israel. Now the name of Hebron formerly was Kiriath-arba. (Arba was the greatest man among the Anakim.) And the land had rest from war” (Joshua 14:12-15).

Thirdly, we note the love of Caleb. He loved the mountain. That’s what he wanted from Joshua: the hill country of Hebron. Others in the book of Joshua would faint at the sight of the mountains; they were occupied by powerful forces with heavy weaponry. The hill country was hard to overcome, hard to defeat; but Caleb wanted to take it. To him, it was the best opportunity. He was a mountain man, and he couldn’t wait for Joshua to release him upon it.

But it seemed there was more to Hebron than the difficulty of the terrain. Sure, Caleb looked forward to crushing the Anakim there, but there may have been something else. Hebron was historical. Abraham had built an altar there after Lot’s departure. Abraham and Isaac and Jacob all sojourned there. It seemed to have been a place of fellowship with God. Caleb wanted the mountain, but more so, Caleb wanted God. He wholly followed God. He loved His Lord.

Caleb’s love was astounding. It was a love and devotion rarely found. Hebron means “association” or “league”; may we crave an association with God as Caleb did. Let us be in league with Him. Let us become a people whose hearts are captured by the mountain. Mount Calvary opened up Mount Hebron to us. The blood made way for friendship with God. May this love develop within us.

Caleb was an outrageous man, a far cry from the norms of his day. Bold, full of faith and in love with God. He did not war for war’s sake, but for God. He wanted to see God’s kingdom advance. The likeness of Christ was found in Him, for Jesus wanted His mountain most of all. Like Flint, His face was set towards His cross, toward His mountain. He did not grow complacent, satisfied with what was. No, he battled for more. May we do the same.

God, give us our mountain!

“And they said to him, ‘Thus says Hezekiah: “This day is a day of trouble, and rebuke, and blasphemy; for the children have come to birth, but there is no strength to bring them forth’”(2 Kings 19:3).

This verse paints a vivid picture as the nation of Israel is compared to a child who lacks the necessary strength to grow. This image is that of a struggle that many Christians face. We have trusted Christ, and as a result, have been born of God, but we lack the strength to let go of certain behaviors or effectively serve the Lord. This often leads to discouragement, and in some cases, to greater failure. Over the years, I have spoken with many people who have shared that a failure in their walk with God has often led to greater failure. A person who looks once at something they shouldn’t will usually look several times before they find the strength to stop, and a person who is afraid to step out and serve Christ will often miss many opportunities before they find strength.

Just today I met a young man who staggered onto the church grounds. With his arm in a sling and a few exposed bruises, he shared with me how his life is falling apart due to his drinking. He stated that he had received the Lord, and that he loves Jesus, but that he struggles to find the strength to let go of the things that keep pulling him down. Fortunately, there is a remedy, not just for this young man, but for all of us. Those who have been born of God can find the strength necessary to grow out of their struggles and into their relationship with Jesus. This strength is found in several places.

There is strength found in community.

Each person must make an individual decision to follow Christ, but no one has to follow alone. Like a coal in a fire, we will find our greatest success when we are lumped together with others who want to live for Christ. The more effort we give to developing community with other believers, the more strength we will have to grow. Find a good church, get plugged into a connect group and invest in some Christian relationships. Beyond a doubt, you will find that there is strength in numbers.

There is strength found in the Bible.

The promises of God are so sure that no force in heaven or on earth is strong enough to break them. The Bible contains the ability to empower us. When we read its pages, we find that the words of the Bible act like spiritual food, strengthening our inner man. The more we ingest the promises of Scripture, the greater our strength will become. When Daniel was weakened by his circumstances, we read that he heard the word of God and was given the strength to rise to his feet. When Jeremiah felt that the obstacles to serving the Lord were too great to overcome, he decided he would no longer share the words of God with others, that is, until the word of God burned within him like a fire. Taking the word in empowered him to give it out.

There is strength found in the Spirit of God.

Jesus promised to give the Holy Spirit to anyone who asks. He also said that the Spirit would give us power and that power would help us to live a life that would be a good example to others. The Bible is filled with examples of ordinary men who received strength to do extraordinary things through the Spirit of God. Samson defeated enemies; Saul spoke for God; Peter engaged a hostile crowd and led thousands to Christ, and the same power is available to the child of God today. It is worth noting that the Spirit provides strength for us when we choose to obey God. It was when the crippled man allowed Peter to pull him to his feet that the Spirit of God gave strength to his legs to hold him and as Moses’ staff hit the waters of the Red Sea that they actually parted. We will find the same thing to be true today. When you choose to do what God asks, the Spirit will always provide the power to do it.

There is strength in setting up a good defense.

Ancient cities built walls to ensure the safety of the inhabitants. Even Jerusalem, the city of God, had high walls erected around it for protection. When Nehemiah arrived and saw the walls broken down, he demanded that the people do more than pray for protection; they were to work hard to build solid defenses against attack. Strength will be found when we realize our weaknesses and take the time to erect safeguards in our lives that will make it more difficult to fail. A good filtering program for your computer or smart phone will do more for your spiritual health than simply trying to muster up more will power against temptation. The higher your walls of protection, the greater your strength will become. Solomon wrote in Proverbs 25:28, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” There is strength in preparing in advance for the daily battles we face.

Those who have moved on from infancy in their walk with Jesus have not done so because they have a different constitution than the rest of us, but because they have found strength greater than themselves. Maybe it is time to approach your walk with Jesus a little bit differently. Perhaps it is time to see it as a team effort and get plugged in with others who will help you grow.

Every difficulty we experience in life is either an opportunity or an obstacle. The Chinese symbol for the word “crisis” is actually two separate symbols: one for the word “danger” and the other for the word “opportunity.” Many of us are viewing the present crisis we are experiencing as one or the other. It is either an obstacle in our way or an opportunity for the Lord to display His glory in and through our lives.

In Philippians 1:12, Paul says, “But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel, so that it has become evident to the whole palace guard, and to all the rest, that my chains are in Christ; and most of the brethren in the Lord, having become confident by my chains, are much more bold to speak the word without fear.”

That word “furtherance” is the Greek word prokope. It could be translated “progress, advancement, movement.” It refers to something moving forward in spite of obstacles, dangers and distractions. Commentator William Barclay said it was, “specially used for the progress of an army or an expedition…It is the verb which is used for cutting away the trees and the undergrowth, and removing the barriers which would hinder the progress of an army.” The chief obstacle for Paul was his imprisonment, but that proved to be no obstacle to the advancement of the gospel. “There must be a beginning of any great matter, but the continuing unto the end until it be thoroughly finished yields the true glory.” –Francis Drake

If you’ve been in ministry any amount of time—whether it has been a week or a decade—a particular temptation will eventually come to you: the temptation to quit.

This temptation usually unveils itself in the middle of a very difficult season and may lure even the stoutest heart to fantasize about stepping away from ministry. Often, the desire to quit can show up when people mistreat us or cause heartache for us. It has even ironically come knocking on some peoples’ doors when life couldn’t get any better for them! We have all faced the pressure to give up or to give in, but especially, when times are tough.

If there’s one thing that the apostle Paul seemed to reiterate to his readers over and over, it was DON’T QUIT! Paul uses the term “persevere,” “press on,” or “strive” dozens of times in his writings to the Romans, the Thessalonians, the Ephesians, the Galatians, the Philippians and even several times to Timothy! Paul linked perseverance to character and to hope. When we stop pressing on and begin to look back and lose heart, we become stagnant and lose momentum. What’s worse is that we may actually begin to believe that giving up would be easier than to press on to the finish line.

Paul’s admonition to Timothy, in 2 Timothy 2, reminds him that soldiers, athletes and farmers all have some things in common. They all have rules and parameters to work within, whether that is the soldier working to please his officer by working within the boundaries of the hierarchy of command, or the athlete adhering to the rules of the game by staying within the lines, or the farmer not planting a seed and expecting a different plant to grow. Each of these involves incredible discipline and hard work. Each of them also looks forward to an end result: a battle won, a race completed, a harvest reaped. The soldier, the athlete and the farmer must all stay the course to receive the benefit of their labor. Quitting is not an option. Here’s an exercise to practice if you are thinking about quitting:

1. Consider your calling.

Did God originally call you to this? If not, why are you still wasting your time doing what God didn’t want you to do in the first place? If you were called by God, move on to the second portion of this exercise.

2. Talk to someone.

Often we are burdened by trying to hold on to things in our own strength, rather than submitting them to Christ or asking others to bear the load with us. Have you prayed about this and then sought counsel from someone more experienced than you? If so, move on to number three.

3. Stop fantasizing.

Many people who desire to quit are romancing the ease or comfort they think they will experience if they step out of their role. But this is a lie; with God’s calling comes God’s equipping. So when you step down from a role, you are not stepping away from God’s grace, but you are stepping outside of His promised favor and provision for that particular position. If you have stopped dreaming about something else, move on to number four.

4. Get to work!

Ministry is hard! Take up the plow and get busy! Stop complaining about how difficult life is and start pouring in to someone else. Before you give up, consider the following people who decided not to quit (adapted from dailywalkdevotion.com):

At age 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA.
At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job.

At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer.

At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school.

At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare.

At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter.

At age 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home-dad working odd jobs.

Julia Child released her first cookbook at age 39 and got her own cooking show at age 51.

Vera Wang failed to make the Olympic figure skating team, didn’t get the Editor-in-Chief position at Vogue, and designed her first dress at age 40.

Stan Lee didn’t release his first big comic book until he was 40.

Alan Rickman gave up his graphic design career and landed his first movie role at age 42.

Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first major movie role until he was 46.
Morgan Freeman landed his first major movie role at age 52.

Whatever your dream is, it is not too late to achieve it. Never tell yourself you’re too old to make it. Never tell yourself you missed your chance. Never tell yourself that you aren’t good enough. You can do it. Whatever it is.

I like to think I am an enjoyer of good things. A sunset of brilliant colors, a cup of coffee that tastes of good quality, a flower that smells of good sweetness, a book that makes me recognize new (or old) goodness. Good is good.

Sometimes goodness comes in the form of newness. New mercies — unbelievably good. New ideas — helpful and inspirational. New information — aha! It all makes sense now. New socks — it cannot be denied. Fresh air or fresh vegetables or clean sheets. Good stuff.

Sometimes goodness comes from understanding. An idea, long mulled over, suddenly crystallizing in glorious golden light. The Gospel realized afresh in my heart; the knowingness of like-minded fellowship, sincere friendship or clarified expression; the blessed figuring-out of something.

Sometimes goodness is even stored up in expectations. A new year — this will be the best one yet. A new book — it’s off to a great start. A new person or ideology or season or flavor spectrum or a freshly sharpened number two pencil with which who-knows-what-goodness can be written. Expectations are delicious. But somehow they don’t last, and reality seems to crush them into less-than-palatable crusts.

Somehow that love of goodness, of newness, of expectation within me shrivels because I just can’t handle reality.

Reality is not what I have hitherto expected. I expected goodness! I had hopes! I had hoped… and now I just don’t understand. It can make me a bit cynical about goodness. All that pent-up disappointment silently pleads that, This cannot be goodness. I expected, but not this. I tried to understand, but it doesn’t add up. I looked to new mercies, and they seem neither merciful nor new.

Something within me, due to this life of reality-induced disillusionment, has developed a bit of frustration and understandably so. My expectation for myself, as a walker-by-faith, is that I’d keep up buoyant hopes, and that I’d trust – you know, be good at it. My “truster” within generally wants, knows, wills and endeavors to trust. But there’s a “doubter” within me as well that begs a hard question, and I’ve come to believe it isn’t there without purpose.

Frustration with “Reality-as-it-Seems” is more pervasive in human souls than we probably let ourselves admit. Goodness is good, and I wanted this to be good; but THIS is not very good. So I want to give up trusting, and I feel terrible, condemned and guilty for even slightly supposing that “this” isn’t quite good enough. Because, oughtn’t it be?

I’ve become more honest with God in the past few years. He imparted to me a “truster” within, and I find myself equally entrusted with a “doubter.” The goodness-seeker within me cries out, Don’t ever doubt! It isn’t good!
But what if a little, well-used doubt here and there actually is good?

What if God allows me to be disappointed, disillusioned, and at times even despondent for a while, when goodness just doesn’t seem to be good or enduring enough? For goodness is part of God’s character: He is Good.

He is also eternal. Goodness, therefore, I presume, is meant to be eternal. But the type of goodness I’m accustomed to seeing just doesn’t stick around, if it materializes at all. Anybody with me? The most glorious sunsets, coffees, books, ideas and pencils all have an end, alas! Understood-ness in personal relationships does not remain static, for as living beings, we are continually growing and changing and learning and becoming (which, as a side note, is a good thing); but what was cannot last.

So if my idea of goodness doesn’t stick around much past the momentary, my “doubter” leads me inquire about the nature of goodness. If even the best (most good) thing I see cannot last, then what, in fact, IS good? What is goodness? I ask because my search for it (as a liker of good) seems endless and unsatisfactory at this point in my process.

I think David, the Psalmist, felt this love of good and likewise this un-good disappointment. He wrote that he himself (the man after God’s own heart!) was capable of and even prone to losing heart. Losing heart, the lifelong certainty; goodness indeed! But, ironically enough, he used that fact to point exactly to goodness.

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. So wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord” (Psalm 27:13-14).

So I was right in the first place! Goodness ought to make me not want to lose heart! (Even though mine usually does!) David felt that too, but he knew how to “strengthen his heart in the Lord his God” even in times of distress (1 Samuel 30:6). This implies that my loss of heart is profitable in me, pointing me toward The One Who Is Good, seeking until I find His goodness. I find it further comforting that such goodness can be found in present “land of living” circumstances.

Beholding satisfying goodness in reality is possible.

My firm belief in seeing goodness here is restored, but my methods of finding may need to change, my rush-to-apprehend calm down. Maybe all these constantly swirling changes ARE the goodness of the Lord for me here, and I can relax and let them swirl. I can look for and enjoy the fading good things today by receiving them as gifts from God.

We are made to rejoice in goodness. Don’t forget to rejoice, soul. When disillusionments resurface, I can put my expectations of goodness on the Lord-Who-IS-Goodness, and though goodness may tarry, wait for it. He will strengthen my heart. I can slowly come to know enduring goodness, even through enduring.
There is goodness eternal to be found today too. I can entrust my frustrated, doubting, not yet-goods to the Giver of all good things. It is not against His character to use hard things to get me to look at Him afresh, and in Him, to find hitherto unseen facets of His goodness. I can expect newness and understanding as I allow Him into my reality. It may be slow, but it will be true and lasting — just like a jewel, dug, chiseled, refined and dazzlingly beheld. I think that’s the best kind of good.