I do suppose, and I pray my deduction is accurate, that you and I desire to live within the beautiful refreshment received through our personal relationship with Jesus. It seems at least (from 25 years of pouring out love and council into countless individuals, marriages and congregations), each of us earnestly desires relief from the soul-scorching heat and intense pressure that comes upon us all every day through life’s complexities. As we wait for the soon coming of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the toils of our life are not going to be backing down any time soon.

Believers all around the world desire, and are needing, God’s sweet, refreshing relief from life’s intense pressure and heat, yet it eludes them. They are continuously feeling parched, weary, wounded and worn. They become so completely drained that when it is time to act, they have no zeal or strength for the fight! Watching hopelessly from a distance, trapped in their place of spiritual convalescence, completely paralyzed and unable to enter into the battle for lost souls.

Why does this happen to so many?

I would propose there are a few reasons: The first being, we are often not spending the time where we should be; the second is we are spending way too much time where we should not be, and lastly, we’re not being transparent and humble before the Lord.

Beginning with the first, we are not immersing ourselves in the reading, studying and memorizing of the Word of God. We are not protecting nor making the much needed time to spend in fellowship with God through His Word. The Psalmist wrote, “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper” (Psalms 1:1-3). This is where we get our strength, refreshing and longevity; God’s beautiful gifts poured out onto each of us as we make God’s Word our daily delight. Isaiah penned, as he was moved by the Spirit of God, “So shall My word be that goes forth from my mouth: it shall not return to me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11).

God’s Word not only brings peace, comfort, strength and joy, it is also at work in the heart and mind of the one who makes it his delight. We must keep reading and keep studying! Let the words of God come off the pages. They will do a work within our lives and church that will produce fruit unto God for His Glory!

We also have a tendency to be lax in our fellowship with other believers.

The writer to the Hebrews wrote, “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24–25). When we are not spending the time with other believers, sharing in our common faith, helping each other with struggles, we will often find ourselves with those who would pull us away from righteousness, instead of helping us find and remain on its narrow, yet beautiful path.

Finally, how often do we humbly come with our burdens before the unchangeable, all loving God and Savior of our souls? All the time, I hope. We should come to worship Him often, from the muck and mire that is the guilt, regret and shame, which have been caused by our innumerable missteps that forever seem to encumber our thoughts. We must come with an unspoken pain and grief and desire for Him to lift these burdens from our weary shoulders. Peter said, “…Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7).

So let’s take action today! Let us take all of our fears, failures, cares and concerns, and cast them down on the blood stained ground beneath the wondrous cross of Christ. Be set free! Jesus proclaimed, “Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed” (John 8:36). When we have been set free from our burdens, our revelation of God’s grace becomes visible through our passionate praise and worship. Our passion for Him becomes gratifying and pleasing to God. Vibrant and rich praise is refreshing to the weary soul. We could all do with more of an unencumbered enthusiasm for making glad the heart of God. David wrote, “I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth” (Psalm 34:1). Maybe today you and I long to be refreshed in the Lord but cannot see from beneath the umbrella of burden we carry. Let it go! Look up, for your redemption is near.

As music students, we all remember those first exciting and difficult lessons. The overwhelming discomfort and frustration that naturally comes from having someone judge and criticize our every movement was often outweighed by the joy found in the newness of the journey. From our posture, to the placement of each individual finger, all in an exhaustive battle to make sure we have the basic techniques correct and as close to flawless as humanly possible.

Each heartbreaking redirect a music student receives is so that one day, we would be masters of our craft. Those tiny, often mundane and individual skills are laid one upon the other until they have built a strong and completed foundation. The foundational skills upon which we explore the countless dimensions of the musical multiverse while cultivating creative art that motivates the soul, moves the body, refreshes the mind and invigorates the spirit. Those basic techniques are also what we fall back upon when we are confronted with learning music, which is a challenge to our natural and practiced ability thus far.

It does not matter the subject, be it of music, art, literature, mathematics, athletics or the sciences, each requires a solid foundation in its discipline.

How much more then should our precious relationship with our Almighty God and Savior be cultivated and nourished? Each of us ought to carve out the necessary time away from the tyranny of the urgent to dig deep and enjoy the adventure of discovery in our study of God’s Word, so we may richly understand the foundation of our faith: Jesus Christ.

Jude wrote, “ But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life” (Jude 20–21). The Greek word (epoikodomeo) used by Jude for “building yourselves up” in verse 20 is defined as “to finish the structure of which the foundation has already been laid.” With that clear instruction, we are told to build up and build upon a solid and already existing foundation.

The Apostle Paul teaches us that no other than Jesus Christ is our foundation. “For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 3:11). So for you or me to build anything worthwhile or lasting in our lives, we must dig down below the surface until we are standing upon the solid footing of Christ in every area of our lives. Be it in our marriages, parenting, school work, employment or any other tasks with which this life daily confronts us, in every precious moment, we all have the same perfect, solid and unshakeable foundation, which is found in Jesus Christ. Consider the instruction given to us by the Apostle Paul, “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (Colossians 3:17).

So, in every area of our lives, we must lay hold of the solid bedrock of life: Our Savior’s finished work at the cross.

When we let the illumination of the cross of Christ into the darkness of every new or difficult circumstance of our lives, then and only then, we will see clearly where to place the next step. As we do, we must remove the meaningless distractions keeping us from clearly finding our safe footing. Jude goes on to tell us we build on our most holy faith. One way to look at that is to consider that every step following Jesus is the correct one, even when it seems uncomfortable and awkward. The writer of Hebrews says the focus of our faith is the same as our foundation: “Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith…” (Hebrews. 12:2).

Now, it’s not enough to just lay down one level of knowledge and understanding upon another in the trite issues of life.

We must learn of Jesus Christ and His commandments, for in them we discover how to build our house upon the Rock. Jesus taught, “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall” (Matthew 7:24–27).

Let us all be diligent to take advantage of every opportunity to dig deep into His Word and allow His Holy Spirit to clear away anything that may keep us from building up our lives on Jesus Christ. May we all remember Peter’s exhortation for us to “…Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ…” (2 Peter 3:18).

How can we discern the will of God for our lives? I dare say 90% of our problem when we want to know God’s will is we’re looking for the easy way instead of His way.

The first thing we need to do is get our plans – our own will – completely out of the way.

We need to seek, from the beginning of any venture of faith, to get our hearts into such a place as to have no personal agenda of our own in regard to the direction we’re choosing.

Consider the words of our Savior in the garden, “…Saying, Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him” (Luke 22:42-43). Do you see the order in which things happened? Jesus expressed His desire and then was willing to surrender His personal desire to God’s perfect and holy desire for His future. Then, in that moment, an angel was sent to minister heavenly comfort to Him and gave Him the strength needed to do the will of the Father. We often look for the most comfortable path as God’s direction, thinking we don’t have the strength to do what God asks. However, the truth is, sometimes the plan of God for our lives is going to be hard.

Praise God that He gives us the strength to follow His direction. “In the day when I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul” (Psalms 138:3).

Therefore, don’t be afraid to surrender to God, He is waiting for you with strength to accomplish the great things He has planned for you.

When we truly desire to know the will of God, we need to remember it is the “will of God”, not the “will of me”. Consider the words of Jesus, “Then Jesus said to His disciples, if anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matthew 16:24-26). Jesus is saying, very clearly, to be one of His disciples, we must realize our lives are not our own. If we seek to live out and pursue our own passions and desires (outside of complete surrender to God), we’re going to lose the life God has planned for us. Did you know God has plans for you? Listen to what Paul said to the Ephesian church, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10).

So, here’s the rub: Many of us will spend a lifetime looking for the will of God instead of surrendering to the will of God. It may be time for many of us to stop watching the parade of life and ministry go by, and step out into the flow of what God has prepared for us. God is moving, are we? God has a plan prepared, will we accept it? You see, we will never find out God’s will and plan for us if we never move from where we are.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit” (Jeremiah 17:7-8). One of the other keys to finding God’s will for our lives is trust: trusting God knows what is best for our joy and happiness. We need to make the choice to put our full confidence in Him. So what messes us up? Instead of trusting in the Lord, we trust in our own heart. Because of the sin nature dwelling in each one of us, we can’t trust our own heart. Jeremiah continues to write, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, According to the fruit of his doings” (Jeremiah 17:9-10).

We need to be especially careful when seeking direction from God that we do not allow our own feelings to lead us down the slippery slope of delusion.

After we suffer the bruises from that kind of fall, we often look back and realize we were not in the will of God but lost in the wilderness of self-guided misdirection. Solomon put it well, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). It should never be what I want for my life because I think I know best; it needs to be what God has for my life because He knows what is best. Our lives are so much more than blindly feeling our way through life on our hands and knees. We have the Creator of the universe who reaches out His hand to us and says, “Come, and follow me!”

“It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes”(Psalm 118:8-9). Have you ever been involved in a conversation that suddenly turned into an uncomfortable situation because someone was asking you to tell them what God’s will was for their life or how to fix their problems? If you answered “yes”, there is a good possibility that you live around live people. The flip side to this is there are times we are the ones looking to our friends, and sometimes even perfect strangers, to give us direction or the solution to our problems. We talk to friends and read magazines, internet articles, and self-help books, and for what? Help from the helpless? Jesus said, “…Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into the ditch?”(Luke 6:39).

If we are looking to men to know God’s will or find help, we’re looking to the blind for vision.

We need to be reminded daily of what the psalmist wrote “…For the help of man is useless” (Psalm 108:12). So why is it most of us seem to go to the Lord as our “last hope” instead of going to Him in boldness at the first sign we have lost our way, or trouble is brewing on the horizon? Why do we seek His direction from a multitude of counselors who do not know Him? Maybe we think He is too busy for us, or we’re not worth His time. Maybe we think He will not answer us when we call on Him. None of that is true! The writer of the book of Hebrews tells us to “…Come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16). Think about that for a moment…God wants to help us. To Him, we are priceless. He died for all our sins. The problem might be that we are the ones who are too busy: busy looking everywhere else for help and direction, and not to the God who loves us or to His Living Word. Look up Christian! Look up! He is our help! He is our hope! “I will lift up my eyes to the hills—from whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth” (Psalm 121:1-2).

When we come to the beginning of the new year, many of us think about making new resolutions, setting fresh goals, like going to the gym every day, eating right or just stop eating donuts. There is an innumerable amount of other things that sound really good and healthy but we never really follow through with any of them. We know we shouldn’t stay up late (and rise early, as the psalmist tells us in Psalm 127), but we do anyway. We know we should eat right. We know we should exercise, so we are physically fit. Many times we just don’t even start, or we start out strong and fizzle out. So why is it so difficult for us to follow through with things we know are good for us? Did you know that 50% of the population makes some sort of New Year’s resolution? Most will do well for a few weeks, but by the time we get to February, things have started to grind to a stop, backsliding ensues, and by the following December, most are worse than they were at the beginning of the year before.

Resolutions, many times, are a cultural effort to reinvent oneself.

They are a way of motivating ourselves to get things in gear, get off the couch and do something because we know we’re in a rut. Do we really need to reinvent ourselves, or just submit to and live a life that brings glory and honor to the One who created us for His purpose and good pleasure? “You are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and by Your will they exist and were created” (Revelation 4:11). Now you might be thinking, “How are you going to live for the glory of God when you can’t even get to the gym every day?”

There are a couple things I would like you to remember when it comes to making a “resolution” to do better in any area of your life. The first is many people do not keep their resolutions because they aren’t ready to change their habits, particularly bad habits, and that accounts for the high failure rate.

We need to choose whether we want to change or not.

It is quite possible that all we need is to be challenged by someone asking if we are going to change or not. Just like Joshua did when he asked this question of God’s people, “And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). Another reason is most of us set unrealistic goals and expectations for ourselves in regard to making healthy changes or any change for that matter.

Maybe it’s time for us to just start taking small steps in helping our relationship with God grow.

Remember what Jesus said, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your Lord” (Matthew 25:23). If we deeply and truly desire to be successful in a new year, and for many years to come, maybe, just maybe, this time we should start small and patiently work our way into bigger and greater things for the One who made us and gave us life. As a small boy spending time with my grandparents in upstate New York, my grandfather had lots of projects around the house for my grandmother. She had an extensive list for my grandpa and I when I would visit. I would easily get overwhelmed as young boys do. I remember my grandfather saying to me, “Ty, how do you eat an elephant?” Now at that time in my young life I had never thought about eating an elephant, so of course, I just stood there with what I am sure was a puzzled look on my face. He then smiled, stooped down to look at me, ran his fingers a couple times back and forth through my messy red hair and said, “One bite at a time, boy.” Don’t try to do everything all in one day, just do what you can do each day; but do something every day!

When I was young, my grandfather would whisper in my ear over and over a beautiful piece of paternal wisdom, “If you don’t have anything nice to say about dinner, don’t say anything at all if you want to live.” He would faithfully share that with me each and every time my grandmother would make liver and onions for dinner. I have often looked back through my adult life and considered the numerous times I should have applied that wisdom to more than my grandmother and mother’s cooking.

I have repeatedly noticed how our mouths get us into trouble.

From a small, tearful disagreement with our spouse or other family member, caused by a hurtful word, to having a knockdown, drag-out fight, explaining to your children why you’re sleeping on the couch for a month (burning the house to the ground kind of troubles). Our wild mouths, fueled by our sinister hearts, can incinerate the best of relationships in an instant. I understand we may think we’re just sharing personal feelings from our hearts, but the reality is that it becomes more like vindictive, drunken knife throwing. Jeremiah warned, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). We are so quick to speak from our hearts without ever really considering the facts; we can never unsay what we have said. There are no “take backs,” and the things we say can hurt so many.

If we are, for one moment, so self-deceived to think our words don’t matter, we are sorely mistaken.

What we say and how we say it will always matter. King Solomon penned, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21). James wrote to the church about the use of our speech, the whole body and sets:

“And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so” (James 3: 6-10).

Never has there been a truer statement. We all need to start considering what we say before we say it. This is not always an easy task, but one well worth the time and effort to build up others with all the things we say. Negative speech is incredibly destructive. Paul said, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29).

Many of us may not realize that our speech is fueled by the deep things in our hearts, whether good or bad.

Our speech then becomes a practical manifestation of sin or righteousness that is living in our hearts. Jesus said:

“Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or else make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit. Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:33–37).

We love to hear ourselves talk, and talk and talk yet the more, never considering that there is much to be learned by listening. James said, “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19–20). We never speak in a vacuum, our words matter. The harsh words we say are never bringing about a righteousness of some kind; no matter how justified we think we are.

The Almighty God of heaven, the Holy and Just Judge, He is always listening and will hold us accountable for every word spoken, the ones in haste and the ones in love. “The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good” (Proverbs 15:3). God always knows the motivations within our hearts, even when we don’t. So, maybe the next time we are about to lose our cool or we are moved to say something about our feelings, we should take the time to slow down and consider our words and choose to act prudently and not compulsively. “Good understanding gains favor, but the way of the unfaithful is hard. Every prudent man acts with knowledge, but a fool lays open his folly (Proverbs 13:15–16).

There comes a point in time for every one of us where we need to make the painful choice to separate ourselves from hurtful people. You would think that it was easy because they are causing us pain and discomfort. Yet, it never is. Why? Often these are some of the closest friends, classmates, confidants and sometimes, even family. We do see clearly and know they are going in a direction with their time, energy and attitude that is not in line with our personal relationship with Jesus Christ. We think we can handle it, but we suffer after we are led off course by the pervasive winds of influence, which come into our lives through these individuals.

Paul wrote to the church in Corinth, “Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits.’ Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame” (1 Corinthians 15:33-34). He is, by the way, telling them something they should already know if they would simply apply some common sense.

If those people with whom you are hanging around are causing damage in your life, stop it!

It is shameful to keep any relationship with anyone or any group who has a greater influence on them than the Lord God of heaven. That should wake us all up from our placid view on relationships, like swimming with a plugged-in toaster.

King Solomon was clear when he wrote,“My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. if they say,’ Come with us, let us lie in wait to shed blood; let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause; Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, and whole, like those who go down to the Pit; We shall find all kinds of precious possessions, we shall fill our houses with spoil; Cast in your lot among us, let us all have one purse’— My son, do not walk in the way with them, keep your foot from their path; For their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed blood” (Proverbs 1:10–16).

Yes, we are to be winning lost souls for the Kingdom of God without doubt. So locking ourselves in our self-righteous ivory towers is not the answer we are looking for.

We must remember, however, we are engaged in a daily conflict with the kingdom of darkness, so moment-by-moment, vigilance is required in our relationship choices.

We need to be mindful that the company we keep, whether it be the unsaved, or worse, the unsaved who think they are saved are, with or without their knowledge of willful participation, being used to draw the world and everyone in it into the ranks of the camp of the enemy. Paul also wrote to the church in Corinth, “But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person. For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? But those who are outside God judges. Therefore’ put away from yourselves the evil person’” (1 Corinthians 5:11-13).

It can be difficult for many of us to make the hard choices in the relationships we keep, and in which we invest, because it involves friends and family, and we often have a deep sense of love for them. God’s Word, however, is quite clear: Things are either right or wrong, and it does not matter whether or not they are a close, personal friend or family member. Consider those relationships as you read the following verses from the book of proverbs:

“He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips” (Proverbs 20:19).

“Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul” (Proverbs 22:24-25).

“A scoffer seeks wisdom and does not find it, but knowledge is easy to him who understands. Go from the presence of a foolish man, when you do not perceive in him the lips of knowledge” (Proverbs 14:6-7).

These verses are clear and straightforward, and I am sure you have a name in mind, as do I.

Why do we need to do this?

Think about it like this, we are to always be casting the net of the gospel out, far and wide, as fishers of men in hopes of saving some. But if we, through our relationships with corrupt company, engage in ungodly behavior that’s played out before an audience or done in the dark privately, our net, the message of the gospel, becomes entangled with transgressions and torn apart by our poor witness and inconsistent testimony. And it becomes useless in our hands. So family, we must beware of pernicious company.

As we seek to grow daily in our personal relationships with God, we can all suffer from a critical blindness of sorts. It is not the “blind leading the blind into a ditch” kind of darkness, but rather an inability to clearly perceive and navigate how we are actually doing in our lives spiritually, emotionally, physically and relationally with God and with others. We quite often are under the delusion that we’re at the center of our personal universe. We could call this attitude “a blind spot” of sorts.

Now to be completely transparent, at any given time, we are lost among a plethora of “blind spots.”

We, each of us, are formulating new directions and making life choices as we live our lives. Unfortunately, most of the time we are in complete ignorance of the vortices of destruction that would gladly swallow us whole and bring us to complete ruin, given the simplest misstep on our part. I suppose that ignorance truly is bliss considering how scary that sounds.

Because of these blind spots, we need to have close personal accountability with our families and other believers who are mature enough in the Lord to help us navigate the darkness floating around in our personalities, which have formed over time either by nature or by nurture. Remember what the Apostle Paul wrote, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life” (Galatians 6:7–9). The law of sowing and reaping is not a respecter of our person and will never feel compassion on us because we did something in ignorance. It does not care if we didn’t know what we were doing was going to cause ourselves or others a world of pain and discomfort. It simply brings home what we have sown, good or bad. I personally never enjoy it when the doorbell rings and there is the big ugly shadow of bad news standing there, demanding to come in and bring its party of wreckage and pain. I can lock the door, pull the shades, but it will never go away because I created the device of my own destruction, because of my lack of humility in staying accountable for myself to God and others who love me.

We each need people in our lives who love us and are courageous enough and willing to brave the scary darkness of our souls to help us avoid the strongman that awaits to mug us around each of life’s corners.

We need someone who is willing and able to walk with us and wound us for our own good when needed.

Trust me, we all need it, someone who has complete access and permission to poke around and see what is not right or maybe things that are starting to slip. If you think it would be uncomfortable, embarrassing and painful to have someone do that for you, you would be correct. The book of Proverbs states, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Proverbs 27:6).

I have never received a painless wound before, and I never will.

However, I would rather face the wound of a friend then open up all the doors to my life to the winds of folly and the wounds of my enemy that always come from a lack of accountability. Proverbs goes on to read, “As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (Proverbs 27:17).

Also because of our pride, when we are corrected, we get defensive and try to fight our position or justify our behavior, and sparks will fly every time. When we walk in humility and confidence in God’s gracious desire to be loving, forgiving and benevolent to us and see the reality of love coming from those who seek to speak into our lives as blessings from God’s hand, we can, like the Psalmist proclaim, “Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities” (Psalms 141:5 KJV).

So, next time someone who loves us points out one of our shortcomings or an area we need to grow in, maybe, instead of taking offense, we could thank them, pray with them and take it all to the Lord in prayer that we may become more like Jesus and less like our sinful self.

It is of utmost importance that men and women of the church, today more than ever in history, would live to please God, work to be fruitful in this life we have been gifted to live, and engage the generations and their different and unique cultures around us for Christ Jesus our Lord. How do we do this? God tells us through the prophet Micah, “He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you, but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8).

Let’s all start by committing to live our lives with unwavering personal integrity and character.

Characteristics like sincerity, accountability, honesty, responsibility, faithfulness and justice. I was once told character is who we are when no one is watching.

The hard truth is God knows what kind of person we really are because nothing is hidden from Him.

Hebrews tells us, “And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account” (Hebrews 4:13). There is nowhere to hide from the intense gaze of the holy standard of God’s watchful eye. “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there” (Psalm 139:7-8). There is no place to run. Try as we might, we can’t pull the shades closed and put out enough lights to hide from the eternal light of God and His truth. We have a strange and sinful disposition, which makes us think we’re able to keep our sins secret from the ever-present, all-knowing, all-powerful giver of life and author of creation. How thick can we get? God knows whether we have godly character and are choosing to live this life in integrity.

Integrity could be well summed up by this statement:

Integrity is when we willfully choose to stand up for what is right because it is the right thing to do.

The Psalmist asked a most probing question: “Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart…” (Psalm 15:1-2). The way he starts to answer the question sure seems to poke at our conscience. Who has a place in the presence of God where He dwells? The one who is walking in integrity by living uprightly in truth and righteousness. Living uprightly in the global environment we find ourselves in these last days is going to require some tenacity to our commitment, and many times, sacrifices will need to be made. Solomon wrote that, “Better is the poor who walks in his integrity than one perverse in his ways, though he be rich” (Proverbs 28:6).

We may lose friends, jobs and opportunities because we choose to do the right thing, but it is always better to have a place in the presence of God than to have a life full of the rotting stench of materialism. Jesus said, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-21).

The wicked will hate all who uphold justice; who tell the truth and live to do what is right before God.

“They hate the one who rebukes in the gate, and they abhor the one who speaks uprightly” (Amos 5:10). We should never be surprised at the push back that we are guaranteed to receive when we align our decisions and actions with God’s heart on all the matters of this life. That uncomfortable rub is much better than the alternative of taking the path of least resistance, jumping headlong into the countless vortices of compromise that lead us to destruction and despair.

No matter how uncomfortable we become, as we endure the persecution that will come upon us at the hands of the wicked, one thing is for sure; we will always be indescribably blessed by the One who really matters when practicing integrity: God Himself. Jesus said, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:6-8).

Do you want to be blessed by our God and Savior? Good! Me too. I pray we would rather lose all that this world has to offer than to have any fleeting moment of this earthly existence where we would be separated from God’s great blessings and supernatural protection. Solomon wrote, “He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk uprightly; He guards the paths of justice, and preserves the way of His saints” (Proverbs 2:7-8). The age-old questions are if God is on our side, who can be against us? If God is the One blessing us, who should want more? The answer to both questions is no one.

Have you ever had somebody come up to you and say, “I have been praying for a long time about ‘this thing’, and God just doesn’t answer my prayers.”

Maybe they’ve come to a point where they feel like God doesn’t answer any prayers. Most of us, unfortunately, have no idea what it means to be fervent in prayer. We pray about things once, maybe twice, and then get caught up in other things; we then draw the erroneous conclusion that somehow God has failed to listen to our plea. Now if that’s not you, good for you! That kind of tenacity is no longer the norm in our church culture.

Does God answer prayer? Absolutely! It is the Lord’s delight to give us what we ask of Him in prayer.

Like David, we should all pray, “O God, hear my prayer; give ear to the words of my mouth” (Psalm 54:2). If we don’t believe in the efficacy of prayer, there would be no reason for us to ask God for anything. He is the One who tells us we can have confidence our prayers are heard personally by Him. “And this is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of Him” (1 John 5:14,15). While as Christians, we pay lip-service to the superlatives in that sentence (“whatever” and “anything”), how often do we really believe it?

So, if God hears us and is willing to answer, then why do we often feel He is not answering our prayers?

We all need to remember that we are finite and not infinite. God’s ways are not our ways! When Paul wrote to the church in Rome, he said:

“Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out! For who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has become His counselor? Or who has first given to Him and it shall be repaid to him? For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen” (Romans 11:33-36).

Too often, we go about our prayer lives, whether corporate or personal, like we’re giving direct counsel to God on how He should be running the universe. Think about that for just a moment and let it sink down deep into your soul. You and I, the direct creations of an Almighty God, have the arrogant audacity to tell our Creator how to do things. Then, when He doesn’t do something the way we think He should, we figure that heaven has gone out of business, closed up shop and just disappeared. Come on! We’re the ones who are fickle, and God is the One who is faithful! What does God owe us? The answer, nothing!

As a loving Father, who is overjoyed to dote upon His children, He wants to bestow upon us the answers to our prayers and our requests.

Yet, our requests must meet the perfect standard of His character, His eternal and complete plans for us, and for those for whom we’re praying.

When I was a kid, how many times did I ask my dad to let me play with his pocketknife? Hundreds. Now let me be clear, I didn’t just ask politely. I begged, cried and threw temper tantrums in the dirt by the campfire. It was ugly. How many times did he graciously and lovingly say, ‘No?’ The same amount of times. Do you know why? Because he knew, if I played with a pocketknife, it was going to be a bloodbath.

Our heavenly Father is very much the same. He wants us to experience life and have great blessings, but He knows better than to give us something we really want, which could quickly turn into a trip to the emergency room, resulting in stitches for us or our friends and family. That’s why, sometimes, it seems as if God is not answering our prayers. His lack of action (from our perspective) is, in fact, quite the opposite. He is holding back the tide of disaster, waiting for us on the other side of the things that we’re not ready for or cleansing us of desires birthed from selfishness, envy or pride.

He was observably upset, “You’re being legalistic!” were the last words I ever heard from Zachary, as he slammed my office door hard enough to break the jam. I sat there for a moment listening to the slamming of the front doors of the church and the screech of tires, as he sped away in his wreck of a first car. There was a boisterous conversation of self-doubt racing through my mind.

I sat still asking God if I were wrong.

Thoughts of resigning my duties flooded my thoughts. Then I looked down at my desk, and there it was, eternal, unchangeable truth staring back into my soul. It did not bring me comfort, however, but rather a sense of resolve. The pages of God’s Holy Word had, for that moment, become heavy, unmovable, and powerfully alive. The verse before me that I had shared with him was from 1 John, “Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him” (1 John 3:15). You see, Zack had been coming to see me several times over a few months for help about a failing relationship with his girlfriend. He was more interested in the girl than with God, of this there was no question. My wife and I had seen the writing on the wall for some time, and I’d been trying to help him through this personal crisis the best I could. That day, he left his high school classes to come inform me, if I didn’t intervene on his behalf, he was no longer going to be able to come to the church. I told him that wasn’t going to happen, and that’s where I needed to draw the line.

I could see he was disappointed, as if all hope was now lost.

I asked him what was going on. He explained the girl he liked had started courting another young man who was “serious about God,” as she put it to him. He became visibly upset and vocally vulgar in his hatred for this sweet and godly young man. So, as ministry and counseling had been modeled for me, I prayed and then went to God’s Word to get direction from Him. I knew I did not have the power to change his heart, but I was confident God’s Word could, if Zack would allow it. As I read from 1 John, I could see his temper start to boil, his hands balling into fists. He looked as if he was going to explode. In an attempt to open a relief valve, the Spirit of God led us to these verses, “He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly.” (Proverbs 14:29), and, “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20). That was the gas to the flame! The emotional, verbal abuse and manipulation that continued to burn from out of his heart was like a F4 dropping napalm on the jungles of Vietnam, for what seemed like forever, and then, out the door he went.

In the calm following the storm, the question that arose for me was, am I being legalistic, or am I being realistic?

Simply put, legalism is the act of putting law above the gospel by establishing requirements for salvation beyond repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. Just because you and I do not sometimes like the fact that God’s Holy Word disagrees with our personal desires, wants, wishes and/or behavior, does not mean it is legalistic for the church to preach/teach and uphold that command as good and right for the followers of Jesus to obey. Leonard Ravenhill said it well, “When there’s something in the Bible that churches don’t like, they call it ‘legalism.’” Paul told Timothy,“ All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work” (1 Timothy 3:16-17). I was not being legalistic. I was using God’s Word as it was intended to be used. I was not adding the requirements of the law to his need for salvation. I truly cared for this young man, and years later, my heart still carries the scars from that day. In that situation, however, the Sword of the Spirit came to bear on an emotionally compromised heart.

Jesus said, “If you love Me, keep My commandments” (John 14:15). We need to be circumspect when we start throwing around the term “legalistic” by asking the following question: Is this adding the law back to the requirements of salvation that is found in faith in Jesus Christ? Or is this simply a commandment from God’s Word I’m being challenged to obey in my walk with Him?

]]> https://calvarychapel.com/posts/should-a-pastor-ever-say-no-when-you-ask-for-help/ Fri, 04 Mar 2016 08:00:00 +0000 https://calvarychapel.com/2016/03/04/should-a-pastor-ever-say-no-when-you-ask-for-help/ Ask yourself this question, do the words I use matter? The answer should be a resounding, “Yes!” rhetoric is the art of discourse; an art...]]>

Ask yourself this question, do the words I use matter? The answer should be a resounding, “Yes!” rhetoric is the art of discourse; an art that aims to improve the capability of writers or speakers who attempt to inform, persuade, or motivate particular audiences in specific situations. A rhetorical device is a technique an author or speaker uses to convey to the listener or reader a meaning with the goal of persuading him or her toward their perspective.

There is a true art to the creative use of the most powerful and simple of words. These are skill sets we learn as children in our homes, schools and playgrounds. A classmate of mine in the 4th grade, named Travis, paid a high personal price because of certain words used on the playground one day. Travis was known for being the “cool” kid and held the record for swinging the highest on the swing set.

On a cool fall day, as he was doing his “swing thing,” some of the cute girls started to challenge him to jump out of the swing when it was as high as he could go. (Please note that he had a pretty deep crush on one of the blond girls.) At first he refused. Then came the onslaught of never-changing playground rhetoric. “We dare you,” did not even warrant a response. “We double dare you,” received a, “Nah.” Then there was the, “We triple dog dare you.” The next thing we saw was Travis flying through the air doing his best Superman impression.

The problem was he couldn’t actually fly. Interesting thing about gravity: It is not a respecter of how cool you are or what sports you play. It treats us all the same, and he fell to the earth like a lifeless sack of Idaho potatoes. When he hit the ground, we didn’t hear the “thud” of flesh to the dirt. We heard the “crack” of bones. You see, he made the error of trying to arrest his fall with his arms and broke both of them above the wrists. He was the center of attention that interesting season as we watched him try to do his class work with both hands in casts.

There are always those who will push us to do immoral and destructive things, yet we have the God given, moral obligation to say, “No.”

How often do we become the center of attention because of our acquired injuries that result from the unsolicited taunts of others? Probably more than any of us want to admit. Consider for a moment all the young people in our broken society who are hospitalized or die from the unnecessary over encouragement of their so called friends.

They, like us, need to know there is a way out. Do you know the word that has the power to deliver you and me from almost any situation? This word is known for its universal power to change the momentum of any life or situation spiraling out of control. That word, “No!” If you have not mastered the innumerable uses of this simple yet multifaceted word, your existence may feel as if it’s coming completely unhinged.

What about the needs people have? I would say we need to help any time and in any way we can…when we can. “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so. Do not say to your neighbor “Go, and come back, and tomorrow I will give it,” when you have it with you. Do not devise evil against your neighbor for he dwells by you for safety’s sake. Do not strive with a man without cause if he has done you no harm.” (Prov. 3:27-30)

God called each of us to help whenever we can. But if you try to help all the time, you will continually be consumed by everyone who touches your life.

Be careful of what you commit yourself to, because God will hold us to account for our words. Jesus said, “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” (Matt. 5:37) At times, people will come to you, instead of going to God, to get help. Guess what? You’re not God. You can’t meet every need of a dying world.

Some days, as ministers of God, we need to prayerfully consider saying, “No.” This will help us to stay healthy, both mentally and physically, for the days when we’re called into the deep end of the pool to help rescue as many drowning sinners as we can.

It’s hard for me to believe that it’s been over five years since my wife and I moved our family to a small, rural, and isolated community in central Idaho. How small, you might ask? Less than 3,500 people live in Salmon, Idaho. It is important that you understand that Salmon is not a suburb of a larger community; we are the larger community. We are located in the mountains of central Idaho – about a three hour drive away from any community larger than ours. Communities like ours are truly unique in comparison to the suburbs and cities. The vision God has given us for our ministry is just as unique and is in no way limited by our size, (but can be hindered by the fact that we may need to drive for an entire day to get parts to fix something that we need on Sunday).

Explaining what ministry in a small community is really like, can be compared to describing a sunset to a blind man. There is no point of reference. There are some things in small town ministry that you just have to experience in order to get your mind wrapped around it practically and emotionally. This is why, for the last five years, we have been praying that God would send us young men and women, (single or married, who have been involved in some form of Bible College or ministry school) to come spend a season with us and experience rural and small town ministry. We would love to see what God would do with committed men and women that are willing to be sent out and spend their lives and youthful energy infusing the gospel into a small community and see that entire community changed for Christ!

The influence of the Gospel and a solid Bible teaching church in a small community compared to a large city.

For some perspective on this, let’s think about the influence of the Gospel and a solid Bible teaching church in a small community compared to a large city. If you live in a city of 200,000 people and are ministering in a church with, let’s say, 1,000 people in attendance during the week, you have reached .5% of that community. Now let’s say that you are in a small town of 2,000 people, and you have 100 people attending weekly services; you have reached 5% of that community. Imagine that, ten times the influence of Christ in a community of that size with well-taught believers.

To do ministry in a small town, you must have a big vision.

I guess you could say that in order to do ministry in a small town, you must have a big vision. But we have what we call the “bigger vision.” If you are considering stepping into this kind of ministry, or are currently serving in a small, isolated community like ours, you must see beyond the natural. You must daily gaze upon the supernatural glory of God! “Bigger vision” helps us to clearly see our Almighty God and to trust Him with everything! This “bigger vision” reminds us that that there is nothing that God cannot accomplish through the surrendered life of His bondservant (James 1:1).

Our bigger vision starts with two basic principles:

“We can’t!” is not an option because “God can!” But Jesus looked at them and said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible” (Mark 10:27). We have learned not to believe in the no-win scenario. We can’t make it much clearer than what Jesus said. Our God can do the impossible. So attempt great things for God and expect great things from God.

“You can’t!” is also not an option! Paul said in Acts 20:24, “But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” There are always naysayers in the church and community. Although they have good intentions, (most of the time), tenderhearted folks sometimes sound like the devil, trying to get you to stop moving in the direction that God is moving. My brother, my sister, don’t be moved!

I do recognize that not everyone called into ministry has been given the grace to do so in small communities. How I desire that they were! My wife and I thank God every day that He meets us with His boundless grace, enabling us to do His work in our humble community. But if God has called you and is leading you by His grace to do ministry in a small, rural community, it will be a great venture of faith and an incredible blessing. What might God do?