Welcome to episode 2 of the Cultivate Church Planting podcast. We believe that the gospel is the hope of the world and that the world needs more gospel-centered churches. I’m your host Brian Kelly, and in today’s episode Shannon Quintana and I are talking with Pastor Bill Welsh about some of the difficulties of planting in another culture.

Shannon has over 20 years experience in ministry and is currently the worship leader of our new church plant in Bradenton, Florida. Pastor Bill just so happens to be her dad, and Shannon was gracious enough to help co-host this episode.

Bill Welsh is a church planter and pastor of Refuge Calvary Chapel in Huntington Beach. He planted in the eighties with his young family in Australia and has a lot of wisdom and insight into ministry and planting overseas.

Her first self-titled CD was released in 2006 and she just recently release a new CD. Quintana is the worship director and leader at Refuge Calvary Chapel and can also be seen around the country at various churches, conferences and events throughout the year. To learn more about Shannon Quintana and her music visit her website.

I recently returned from a trip to Israel, where I led worship for a church tour! It was a super full trip, but always such a gift to be where Jesus walked, worked and gave His life for us!

During the first week of the tour, our team was staying in Tiberias, which is on the west shore of the Sea of Galilee. We spent a few days in the town, and one of those days we were able to take a boat ride across the sea as we shared worship and heard a teaching. The Sea of Galilee looks less like a sea and more like a lake, so it can be hard to picture the story in the gospels that talks about Jesus calming the stormy sea when he was on the boat with his disciples. You may look at what seems like a harmless sea and think, “Really, guys? THIS sea scared you?” But, I was actually happy that for the few days we were around Galilee, it was stormy! I mean, massive thunder, lightning and major downpours off and on for three days! This stormy weather made it WAY easier to understand the fear the disciples may have felt as they bobbed around on the stormy sea thinking they weren’t going to make it.

Now that I have set the stage for the story, I want to tell you a modern story of servanthood.

While we were on our bumpy boat ride, the wind was whipping through any crack and crevice of the thick, clear plastic sheeting that was meant to keep the wind out. Us Californians hunkered down as much as we could to try to stay warm under our hoodies and single-use plastic bag type ponchos. Sitting next to me was a woman named Diane, her husband Harold was sitting on the other side of the boat. During the teaching, he walked over to her, took off his thick coat and wrapped it around her shoulders so that she would be protected from the wind. He then walked back to his spot wearing only a long sleeve t-shirt in the freezing wind! I was struck not only by his thoughtfulness for the woman he loves but for the joy it brought him to serve her. He smiled brightly as he looked at her from across the boat, content that his sweet wife was now warm and protected from the wind.

It was then that I realized that the definition of being a servant is allowing yourself to be uncomfortable, in order to make someone else comfortable.

Harold didn’t give his wife his jacket so he would appear to be husband of the year. It was apparent by the joy it gave him, that he gave her his jacket to ensure that she was taken care of, comfortable and happy. What a true example of a servant! I wish you could have seen these two during the trip! They were so cute; Harold was always making sure Diane had what she needed, helping her walk on uneven ground, taking her hand to help her up steps, and they even walked together holding pinkies! It was the cutest thing ever!

In the books of Mark and Matthew, you may have read the story of the sons of Zebedee. There was a bit of an argument on their account because they asked Jesus if He would do them a favor and let them sit in places of honor, one on His right and the other on His left in Heaven. Silly sons of Zebedee! They were wanting status and thinking all they had to do was ask for it because they had connections with the big man.

Little did they know, status was the very LAST thing Jesus was about. On the contrary, Jesus was all about serving others and giving away His status, His position to become just like us. In Mark 10 verse 42-45 Jesus reels His disciples back in because they were getting a little irritated at this whole “place of honor” business.

It says: “Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many’” (Matthew 20:25-28).

So, Jesus set those sons of Zebedee straight by letting them know that they had it all backward. His whole reason for coming was to serve others, not to be served, and as a matter of fact, He came to give up absolutely everything, the ultimate sacrifice, His own life to ransom all of ours. Talk about being uncomfortable to make others comfortable…Jesus took death to give us life!

Our “sacrifice” in this life is nothing compared to what Jesus did for us.

As I watched Harold care so tenderly for his wife, not for his gain, but for hers, my heart was completely touched and stirred. It reminded me that my job is to be a servant, not to be served, in order to make myself more comfortable. And another thing, not once did I see Harold point his thumbs towards himself and say, “Did everyone see me? I gave up my jacket to my wife! I am the husband OF THE YEAR! Take notes, boys!” No, he did it in humility and genuineness and simply because he really loves his wife, and he showed it by serving her.

What ways might God be asking you to serve others? Have you had times where you have thought, “Well, if I do that for them, then who will do it for me?” Or maybe you’re like me, “Well, if my husband eats my last french fry, there will be fewer fries for me! No one gets between me and my fries.” I know, it’s a problem; pray for me.

One of the last things Jesus did with His disciples was to wash their feet, an act of total service to them. In this way, He showed them that even He was willing to bend low to serve others, and He was GOD! What an example left to us by Jesus. I hope that this encourages us to live our lives looking for ways to serve others. Try to think of some simple ways today that you can reach out to help someone else; I know you will be blessed for it!

I buckled my seat belt across my hips, sat back in my seat and rested my head back on the head rest. I had never been so happy to get on a flight in my life. Sure, I was excited to go to Israel to lead worship for a church group, to see the places Jesus walked; it was the trip of a lifetime. But, I was more excited to just escape. As I put in my headphones and got settled in, I felt myself breathe deeply, because for the next two weeks, I was free. I wonder if you have ever had that feeling of being completely overwhelmed by all your commitments, so much so that you were screaming inside, “Get me out of here!”

The flight to Israel is a long one, leaving me plenty of time to ponder, read and pray. I got out a piece of paper and started writing down everything I was responsible for in my life. I included everything from leading worship at churches, down to feeding the dog. The list grew and grew, and as I looked at the page filled with WAY too much, I closed my eyes and said, “OK, God, this is too much for me. I need to take some things off this list, and I need you to help me. What do you want me to keep, and what do you want me to cross off my list of to-do’s?”

Of course, there are some things we can’t get rid of; I still have to do the dishes, be available for my family, and yes, I still have to make sure the dog gets fed. But my goal in refining this list of responsibilities was to only keep what God really wanted for me and dump the rest. It was tricky! Every responsibility I was crossing off the list meant that someone else would have to pick up where I left off. At first, I felt awful crossing things off the list, but then God changed my perspective. What if I wasn’t dumping these things on other people but actually was handing someone else a great opportunity that they may have been waiting for.

Perspective changes everything!

There were things on my list that needed to remain my job, being there for my family is a job only I can fill. I want to be faithful first and foremost to my family. Everything else should be secondary, yes, even ministry! Gasp! And honestly, looking at this giant list of ministry, I started to feel like a worship ministry hog! I was scheduled to lead worship on the weekends, Tuesday mornings for a school chapel, Tuesday nights for a women’s ministry, Wednesday nights, monthly Friday mornings and an event here and there! It was WAY too much for one person, and I started to wonder if these opportunities would be a huge blessing for someone else. I found that as soon as I marked something off of my list, I would feel a sense of freedom and was able to breathe a little deeper, knowing that not only was the extra responsibility off my plate, but that God was going to gift it to someone else who would be excited by it, rather than overwhelmed!

I always do my grocery shopping on Monday mornings, and I usually have the same cashier. We were talking about the Christmas season, and how people get really stressed out. She said something I found interesting and sad. She said that she calls Christmas the “Have to Holiday,” because you have to bake cookies; you have to get presents; you have to get a tree. As we chatted, while she rang up my groceries, I told her about my list of responsibilities, and how I had taken some things off my plate earlier in the year; and that only now was I getting to see the full benefit of lifting that weight. As I left the store, I was so grateful for the choices God directed me in at the beginning of the year, realizing that it has had a long-lasting effect on my everyday life and ministry.

This year has been one of the calmest years I have had, and I have never felt so confident in my calling.

The things God has called me to are a joy and not a burden. And I have been able to watch others flourish in the areas where I had previously been just trying to hold down the fort. And as far as Christmas this year, it has been the chillest Christmas season I have had in probably 10 years. I have been able to have a day to just bake cookies and lovingly decorate them. I have been able to breathe deep and enjoy the season with my family and friends; it is far from the “Have To Holiday” for me this year.

I wonder if you are struggling to keep your head above water when it comes to your list of things to do?

Maybe God is calling you to make a list, pray over it and then get out the red pen to start making more room in your life for what you are really called to, and not just what you can do.

The ministry God has called you to isn’t meant to be a burden. Yes, we do have work to do, and yes, it can be hard. But I truly believe that our desires will line up with our calling, and if you feel that you are just filling a need, perhaps someone else is eagerly anticipating an opportunity to do what is a burden to you. So, my friends, go to God today; give Him your attention, and most of all, give Him your time. We will never get our time back, so let’s make sure we are using it the way God really wants us to! Merry Christmas!

My 16-year-old daughter was able to participate in a six-week program in Hungary called “A Vision For Life.” It’s basically Bible college condensed into six weeks for high schoolers. It was a mix of Bible classes, outreaches, dorms and general “parent-free living”. She had some incredible opportunities to share her story of hope in Jesus. My heart smiled when I saw photos of her talking to a group of hundreds on the streets of Vienna, hosting Vacation Bible School for kids, making new friends, and I knew she would come back changed. I’ve been on multiple mission trips in my life, and the effort is always to go touch other people’s lives, but in the process, it completely changes who we are and what we believe. The same happened for my daughter, and I was so ready for her to come home; we really missed having her around. There was one thing I had forgotten when it comes to mission trips, especially as a teenager…the culture shock.

I remember the first time I went on a mission trip was to Juarez, Mexico. I had never seen such poverty, and when I returned home, it was Christmas time. Talk about culture shock, I was angry at every bit of American excess I saw around me. I had just seen firsthand people who literally didn’t have anything, and I didn’t understand how people didn’t feel guilty for having all they had. The culture shock my daughter faced was different. They didn’t really visit poverty stricken areas, but she had done a lot of really important things for the kingdom of God and coming home just felt, well…ordinary.

It’s no fun coming home to parents and rules and chores, after you just spent two months with a group of awesome new friends who were on fire for Jesus and couldn’t wait to tell everyone they met about Jesus. Now she was back home, picking up her school schedule, locker combination and getting ready to start her junior year of high school. Along with the regular jet lag that comes with international travel, there was a bit of an aimless feeling of, “What am I supposed to do now?” I could totally understand where she was coming from, and my mama heart started asking God how I could help her navigate this moment of uncertainty. I thought about Isaiah 43:18-19 that paraphrased says, “Don’t look back on the old times as if they were the best of times, I have more ahead for you!”

God has promised that He is always doing something new in us, and so, if we keep our head stuck in the past, we may miss the new that is coming.

It would be pretty mean of God to give us all just one highlight reel to keep looking back at our entire lives. Thankfully, that’s not what He does!

What a great encouragement to us! It’s ok to reminisce about the good old days, but we can’t dwell there as if that’s as good as it’s ever going to get. I received a tea towel from the famed Magnolia Market in Waco, Texas, that reads, “The good old days are still to come!” I love the thought that in the future we could be looking back on these days right now saying, “Oh man, that was an awesome time!” I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to get so stuck in the past triumphs that I leave no space for new victories!

Let’s hold on to this Scripture and to the knowledge that God is doing a new thing today!

We all go through seasons in our lives. It can sometimes feel like everything around us is flourishing much like springtime, or that we are losing all our hard earned work, resembling the trees dropping their leaves in the fall. Sometimes we just cruise and bask in easy days like summer, and other days, you can feel cold and barren like the frozen days of winter. If you wait long enough in any season, it’s bound to change. If I’m being transparent, which I always try to be, I think I’m somewhere in the “in between.”

Have you been there?

That “in between” season can be the hardest as the glimmer from what is fading, and the hope of what’s coming is still too far ahead to see. There are times when God plants purpose in our hearts, and we are filled with such passion that we pour everything into achieving that purpose. The drive to reach it is so thick you could almost reach out and grab it! I love those times!

In 2011, I had a beautiful springtime moment when I won the Star Fish contest and got to play the main stage for Fishfest, a huge Christian Music festival in front of 12,000 people! My call time was sandwiched between David Crowder Band and Third Day. I cried happy tears as I listened to David Crowder sing “He Loves Us” from backstage and smiled when Mac Powell said, “Hey, good job,” to me as I walked on stage. I remember taking pause in that moment and thinking, “This may be the only chance I have to sing in front of this many people,” and so I took it all in.

Following that moment have been many amazing moments getting to see people worship Jesus along with me. I have seen God fulfill the deep purpose He placed in me over and over again. But I feel a stirring in my heart. Like the scent of jasmine on the evening breeze, a new purpose is calling me, but I’m not sure what it is quite yet. To be honest, it’s a bit uncomfortable. It feels like that hot, muggy air that comes at the end of summer right before the crispness of fall.

So, what should you do when you feel the seasons changing, and you’re kind of stuck in the “in between,” waiting for your new purpose?

Well, have you ever seen roses that have feen fully pruned and cut back? They look sort of ugly when they are trimmed down to branches, and aren’t much to look at. But the deeper the pruning, the bigger the bloom.

When we are feeling stuck, we are actually being prepared.

If you’re in a season like me, where you are feeling like those scraggly, old rose bushes that have been pruned mercilessly, just wait a little longer. But don’t be dormant; a rose bush isn’t dead. It’s being fortified, nourished and is just waiting to flourish when the time comes.

God says in Isaiah 43:18-19, “Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland!”

You see, the “in between” season is God’s chance to feed, fortify and fill you with all you will need to bloom. He will be revealing the new purpose He has for you bit by bit. So, if you are in the space between seasons, remember along with me that this time is never wasted. Seek God, and wait expectantly for the new vision He has for your future!

Almost a year ago there was a need for a new youth worship leader, and therefore I was thrust into a whole new world. I thought, “I’ve led worship for years. This’ll be easy!” Famous last words.

I committed to a year of serving in youth, leading worship and leading a small group for the junior & senior girls.

I was so stoked at first, excited to make some much needed changes and see the students grow in not only their music abilities, but in their hearts for the Lord. And then things got real. I realized that leading worship for women’s retreats, church services and special events was filled with pats on the back and praise for a job well done. Youth worship had none of that. I remember thinking, “This is harder than leading worship in jail! At least the incarcerated are happy to see me!”

Something happened that I wasn’t expecting. Something that takes great humiliation to admit. It didn’t happen right away, but it was slow and sneaky. As I was winding up cords and turning off lights all by myself after service, I thought, “Nobody even notices what I’m doing. Nobody appreciates this; youth ministry is a thankless job!” While that may be true at times, I let this momentary discontentment in my heart grow like a cancer, and I lost sight of what I had set out to do. It changed from an opportunity to a burden, from a blessing to a chore. This tumor of doubt grew to a point that it started effecting the way I responded to the Lord and those I had set out to serve.

Youth ministry is like a picture of organic farming.

I’m not really an all organic, non GMO, raw milk drinking mama…but bear with me as I paint this picture. In order for a plant to thrive, the soil needs to be tilled; the seed needs to be planted, watered, warmed by the sun, and weeds need to be tamed. And at just the right time, that plant will flourish. When serving young people, sometimes you till, sometimes you plant, water, warm or tame weeds, and none of that is wasted. All of it leads to a healthy, nourished and fully mature plant that will bear beautiful fruit.

How hilarious it would be, if with every seed a farmer planted, he announced, “I’m planting a seed! Just planted another one! Oh look, now I’m WATERING a seed! Aaaaaand I just pulled a weed, yay, me!” Sounds silly, right, but it’s the same as me wishing that someone would come up and congratulate me on a job well done. I was saddened by how deep I had let that bitterness sink in and only by acknowledging it before the Lord was I refilled with that passion I started with, but now reborn with a new excitement! I get to be part of the growing process, what a privilege!

Have you been in a place where you were so excited to start a new ministry or church or small group?

It was SO clear in your mind how things should go, until they didn’t, and then things got blurry and boring and burdensome. In the words of Ice Cube, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.” Don’t lose the vision just because it didn’t come to fruition as fast as you wanted it to. Zechariah 4:10 says, “Don’t despise the small beginnings.” Be faithful in whatever you have been called to do, knowing that the timing of the fruit isn’t up to you, but God! Do your part then sit and watch Him work!

The pain got worse, as all my gym friends surrounded me on the ground, and I heard one of them whisper to the other, “Oooh, it’s…” I could only imagine that my ankle wasn’t looking so hot and was possibly ballooning to double it’s size. Sure enough, that ankle had surpassed “cankle” status and was now heading straight for elephantiasis standards. Off to urgent care I went, for examination and x-rays. The diagnosis, a severe sprain. This meant crutches and of course R.I.C.E. (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation). My mind was reeling as I thought of all I had to do that day. The worst part was, I didn’t fall doing anything spectacular, like sky diving, gymnastics or wrestling an alligator. Nope, I had properly messed up my ankle simply walking.

In only three hours I was scheduled to head out to lead worship for a women’s retreat. Not any women’s retreat, a retreat with 1,200 women, where Kay Arthur would be the speaker. I’m not real big on name dropping and throwing numbers around, but umm…this retreat was a bit of a big deal, and I was now relegated to pain, crutches and a foot that needed to be elevated. Hmm…those three things and standing to lead worship don’t mix.

What on earth was God’s plan?!

My sweet husband tried his best to help me as I quite literally was falling apart. I sat crying so hard my husband popped his head in worriedly asking, “Are you ok?” I answered back, “NO!” Making it clear that I was, in fact, not OK, but there was nothing he could do except let me cry. It was a painful cry but also a confused cry, “Lord what does this mean? You know I have to go to this retreat! You know I have to stand and lead worship, and You know how much I LOVE leading worship at this retreat! What are You doing?!”

I had two choices, I could power through, go to the retreat, or I could cancel. I had good reason to. But I didn’t want to make a decision based on my human wisdom; I wanted to know what God wanted me to do. It would be nice to stay home and keep my foot up all weekend, but I REALLY wanted to go to this retreat; it’s been my JOY to be part of it for many years. However, maybe God had another plan, maybe it would be another worship leader’s chance to have the joy of leading…? I called the retreat directors and said, “Okay, friends, here’s the deal. My foot is royally messed up! I will literally have to sit with my foot up on a chair and a few pillows, or I can’t come. I want to come, but I get that it’s odd aesthetically, and I am up for whatever you guys want to do.” After five minutes of deliberation, they let me know that they wanted me there. With new resolve and a chauffeured ride by my husband, I was off! Thankfully, my 16-year-old daughter was already planning to sing with me that weekend, so I had my own personal roadie to carry all my gear for me. We enjoyed the weekend immensely; one of the highlights was getting to see just how big my foot could swell up and what sort of colors it would turn from bruising!

I can now speak from experience and say that leading worship from a chair, with one socked and braced foot up on a pile of pillows is pretty humbling. It’s really hard to look cool in that position. This injury taught me two things: humility and dependence. I’m typically a “do it yourself” type of person. I don’t like depending on other people, and I am proud of the fact that I don’t generally need much help from others. But God had a lesson for me to learn. My entire weekend was filled with needing the help of others and humbling myself enough to let people come to my aid. Something as simple as carrying a glass of water was an impossible chore!

More important than depending on others for help, God blessed me with some forced rest time even after the retreat was over.

I was able to stay in bed, foot elevated and the Bible in my lap. I had recently told God I wanted to become a student of His word, and not a reader only (James 2). The three words I felt God speak to me during that time was: “Don’t Waste It!” I was able to pretty quickly see this inconvenient injury as an opportunity to be that student I wanted to be. Now that I am back on my feet and limping my way back to a 100% recovery, I am thankful for the opportunity to be humbled and dependent. Sometimes, God has to get my attention in some ridiculously obvious ways. I wonder, what are the ways God may be trying to get your attention today? Keep your eyes open looking for Him; it may help you not lose your footing like I did. But just in case you end up hitting the deck like I did, give me a call, I’ve got some crutches you can borrow.

James 1:22-25: “Be doers of the Word, and not hearers only deceiving yourself. For if anyone is a hearer of the Word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in the mirror, for he observes himself, goes away and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in all he does.”

I was driving alone in the car, and I was thankful for the solitude. The silence was like an old friend I hadn’t seen in a long time, and I yearned to just visit with for awhile. As I drove up Warner Boulevard, my head was spinning with the way things weren’t working out, and my heart was broken that God hadn’t seen fit to do things the way I wanted Him to. I stopped at a red light and just began speaking (a.k.a. praying) to my best friend, Jesus. “I am mad! I’m mad that you aren’t doing things the way I thought you would. I’m angry that you aren’t changing things and making everything OK and allowing this difficulty to continue! This isn’t the way things are supposed to go!” I have to be honest and say that I didn’t have a kind tone; I wasn’t even really being reverent. I was just being honest.

I want to pause and ask you a question…having read my prayer above, did you say to yourself “Whoa Shannon! Looks like you forgot your place! I can’t believe you would pray like that!” Now let me ask if you have ever felt those raw, honest, angry thoughts deep inside your heart? I know we all have, even King David himself did! In Psalm 22 we see David crying out, “God where on earth are you?! Why aren’t you helping me?!” Of course, that’s the Shannon version, he used an even more desperate term, forsaken, which means to abandon or desert. Did David really believe God had forgotten all about him, abandoned him even? I don’t think he really BELIEVED he was forgotten, as much as he FELT forgotten, but only for a moment.

Have you been there?

The beautiful thing about coming to Jesus with our heavy hearts is the fact that He is eager to lift that burden and remove the blinders from our eyes to cause us to see! Before the anguished words from our lips reach His heart, He is already lavishing us with hope. You can see David’s struggle throughout Psalm 22 to grab onto that hope with everything he has. He jumps back and forth between proclaiming God’s holiness to detailing the ways people persecute him and how strapped of strength he is. Oh, how thankful I am to have the Bible that reminds us that the people who came before us were JUST like us! They wavered in their hope and needed restoration, and doggone it, they just needed to vent sometimes!

As I continued my drive up Warner, speaking honestly and openly, God’s hope began to wash over me. I began to see that though His way may take longer in my eyes, the deep healing, depth of character and hope that is cultivated has no comparison. I am thankful for a God who allows us to come to Him in whatever state we may be in. He can see past our moodiness, through our irreverent tone, deep into the heart that is longing for a reminder that He sees us, understands us; and that His future plan for us, our families and even our teenage children is beautiful. Let me encourage you to go to Jesus honestly today, pour out your heart and wait for the softening that can only come from your loving, Heavenly Father.

Maybe you’ve heard of CrossFit. I’m one of those crazy people who have bought into their way of using constantly varied, functional movements at a high intensity. Basically this just means you work really hard, never at the same things, in a way that will make your everyday life better. This isn’t an ad for CrossFit, but I wanted to share a parallel I found in regards to my walk with God. CrossFit is hard and walking with God is far from an easy road at times. One of the benefits of this type of workout is that you should be ready for anything life may throw at you. This can be described as a hopper, think a drum full of different workouts or movements. The idea is that you would turn the cranks, spin the hopper and then blindly choose a workout. Some movements you would excel at; others would be more challenging and make you want to run away screaming.

The goal is to accomplish the hard stuff, rather than sticking to the things you are already good at.

Otherwise your overall fitness will be stunted.

Doesn’t life feel like this hopper sometimes? There are seasons when things seem to run smoothly, falling into place like a storybook. Other times it’s as if someone is playing a series of practical jokes on you, because nothing seems easy and everything hurts. I understand. Greg Glassman, the creator of CrossFit, said it like this: “There is more traction, more advantage, more opportunity in pursuing headlong that event or skill that you do not want to see come out of the hopper than putting more time into the ones where you already excel.”

Paul, an apostle of Jesus, talked about facing hard things like this:
“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,[a] but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us” (Philippians 3:12-14).

The natural inclination is to try to run away from the hard things, but we can’t just wish the difficulties of life away.

We have to be grown ups, don’t we? We won’t get any stronger, wiser or better equipped for what is ahead unless we run straight into what we don’t always know how to accomplish. The cool part is that God gets it; He knows the road ahead and the way to navigate it. If we will let God into our hearts and our lives, He has promised that He will walk along with us, strengthening us when we are inches away from giving up.

Life is unpredictable, something I am learning more and more each day as my two daughters are now in high school. My list of “conversations I thought I’d never have” is getting longer and longer. But something else I am learning is that once we come through a difficult conversation or an intense situation, we end up being stronger than we were before. Just as I am getting stronger by practicing new ways of fitness, I am learning to not let myself be controlled by the fear of what might possibly come out of the “hopper” of life. I can trust that no matter what is coming next, God is already there, like the best fitness coach I’ve ever had. He will correct things I am lacking, encourage me when I’m faltering and will ultimately celebrate with me when I conquer what felt unconquerable.

We all had a starting point in life. I was born into a Christian home with a pastor for a father. My parents have been married about four decades. My family ate dinner around the table almost every night, did Bible devotions and went to church every Sunday. This was my beginning. We all have one, and it’s easy to get where we started all mixed up with our identity.

Being raised in a Christian home doesn’t make me a Christian, and beyond that, being raised in a Christian home doesn’t define who I am. It helped shape me, train me, and I am absolutely privileged to have grown up in the home I did. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized that my beginning was rare, almost movie like. That many of my friends came from homes where they were quite the opposite.

The crazy thing is…our identity is the same.

No matter what our beginning was, every single one of us was made in the image of God.

God says so in His Word at the very start, so we wouldn’t wonder. Genesis 1:27 says, “He made mankind in His image, making them male and female.” Further in His Word it says, “While we were still sinners, [before we called ourselves His] Christ died for us!” (Romans 5:8). What do we make of this? I see two things to make a big deal about: 1) God made us and 2) He died for us! This means, you guys, that He loved us, EVEN before we chose to follow Him!

This is where our identity is! It’s not in how we were raised; it’s in who we are! And we are God’s!

This is where our identity is! It’s not in how we were raised; it’s in who we are! And we are God’s!

Yes, my name is Shannon. I am married. I have two kids and a dog. I lead worship, and I burp a lot (don’t be jealous). But none of these things make me who I am.

Who am I? I am made by God. I am loved, cherished and treasured.

I was bought at the highest price that could ever be paid. I have made many mistakes in my life, yet Jesus will still look down on me, pick me out of a crowd and say, “Yep, that one is mine, and isn’t she lovely?!” And He does the same for you! Yes, YOU! I don’t need to know who you are to know you are loved extravagantly by God! You are a human aren’t you? (If not, I’m not sure how to proceed, hmmm). Our identity is in Christ, and no bad beginning, bad ending or horrible stuff in between can change that! You were created by God, in the image of God, and He looks at you with nothing but love in His eyes! Even if you haven’t taken notice of Him yet and realized that He has an abundant life planned out for you, know this: There is no identity thief that can steal a life that is hidden in Christ! No person, no hardship, no demons, no sickness, no broken relationship, no mistake, not even death can take away God’s love for you! (Romans 8:38-39 the Shannon version).

You don’t exactly plan to be living in luxury on a mission trip, but you do hope to at least get a good night’s sleep. Our hopes were dashed a little in the middle of our mission trip to Vietnam. There’s no nice way to put it; the hotel we checked into was nasty. Our complimentary toothbrush packet was already open. A glass sat next to the sink with water still in it from the last customer, and there was no soap to wash the filth of the room off our hands. We could deal with that, but we were more concerned about spiders in our bed. So before we turned in for the night, we pulled the sheet back and checked to be sure we wouldn’t be bitten as we slept.

It was definitely dirty, but bug free…or so we thought.

Around five o’clock in the morning, my husband felt something crawling on his face and slapped it away. I assured him it was probably just a tiny spider. But his high functioning OCD and germophobia didn’t find that assumption acceptable; he had to find out what had been hanging out on him. Our worst fears were realized when he turned on his iPhone flashlight to reveal a bed bug crawling where he had been laying along with evidence that one had bitten me and been squashed in the night. Eeeew!! I shot up, and we began disrobing and telling our kids to do the same. The decision was made to leave every article of clothing that had touched that bed behind so as not to take those bugs home! These are the moments that my husband’s germaphobic ways come in real handy since nothing else had touched the bed and our suitcases had already been locked up tight. Right about now, you’re probably thinking “Wow, what a gross story. How on earth does that apply to my life, other than standing a little farther away when I talk to you?” Follow along with me.

Bedbugs are resilient and relentless and nearly impossible to get rid of. If we hadn’t taken measures to be sure that they didn’t come with us, we could’ve unwittingly migrated those Vietnamese bedbugs into their new home in California, in our beds! They would’ve been prolific at multiplying, and we would’ve had to burn our mattress. Okay, maybe burning is a little extreme, but we’d definitely need to invest in a new bed. I’m sure glad we spotted them!

Those bedbugs remind me of the little bits of sin that I pick up along my walk with Jesus.

Sometimes, without even noticing, something latches onto me and won’t let go. It multiplies and permeates every area of my life, and before I know it, I’m infested with poor judgement, leading to poor choices, leading to straight-up more and more sin. Getting rid of sin is thankfully easier than getting rid of bedbugs, but they both need to die. The Bible says that as soon as I decide to let Jesus be the director of my life, I am no longer chained to my old way of living, my old mistakes. I am NEW, and none of that old stuff is meant to stay.

Sin is sneaky. Sometimes, without even noticing, we pick up something nasty, and it just takes over. For me, it usually takes over by changing the way I am with the people around me, usually my family. I get snappy and rude, and I just want to be alone and watch Netflix, and by watching Netflix, I mean watching an entire season on Netflix. Netflix doesn’t ask questions; Netflix understands. I’m pretty sure if you looked up “Netflix” in the dictionary it may have an alternate definition of “a complete waste of time.” They only give you 10 seconds between episodes to see if you’d actually like to do something useful with your time. I mean, can we even make an educated decision in 10 minutes? Well played, Netflix, well played. Isolation feels good when I’m riddled with sin because I don’t have to tell anyone how I’m REALLY doing.

Maybe it manifests in you differently.

One sin always leads to another if we don’t get rid of it before it takes over.

I’m not sure what God’s reason was for making bedbugs. I like to believe that He didn’t, and that some mad scientist made them as a prank. Same with cockroaches…but that’s a whole other story, actually one that applies to the same mission trip. However, I am amazed that God can use this disgusting little creature to remind me to keep my life clean, to get rid of anything that isn’t meant to be there. To not let sin hangout and not get so comfortable with it that I am lulled right to sleep, clueless of the infestation project that is in full swing around me. So, let’s all keep checking up on our lives, making sure nothing has crept in that doesn’t belong in our new hearts and lives!

I was probably about 11 years old, and we were having a small gathering at our house for some people from our church. A man with a huge glass of iced tea walked over to our rickety piano bench to sit down. As soon as he sat on the unreliable bench, it gave way under his weight. He fell straight to the floor, spilling his cold drink all over himself. I have a vivid memory of being so embarrassed for this poor man. He had chosen a place to sit, not knowing it was going to fail him. When I think back on it now, it makes me ponder how many of us have chosen to sit in unreliable places, and what sort of fear we now carry because of it.

The wobbly piano bench can represent anything in our lives that has let us down. We are people, therefore we fail. We hurt people, and they hurt us.

There are so many things in life we cannot control.

Friendships are broken; jobs fall through, and sadly, people pass away too soon for our liking. How can we trust when life feels just as unstable as that old piano bench?

During youth group the other night, we were talking about faith. How would you define faith if you were asked to describe it? We got a little stuck pondering how trust is different than faith. When I talk about trust, I think of the chair analogy, you know, you sit in a chair, trusting that it will hold your weight and won’t crash to the ground. Well, that’s all fine and good, but what about that poor man who fell to the floor in my childhood home? He trusted that piano bench to hold him up, and it let him down!

There are so many “chairs” in life.

We choose friends and spouses. We trust that our family will be around forever. What happens when your trust is broken? You trusted God to preserve that loved one’s life, but they passed away far too soon. You trusted that your friend would always be there, but they let you down and broke your heart. Your spouse walked away from their vows, leaving you shrouded in doubt. What then? What happens when the chairs we choose to trust shatter underneath us?

Here comes faith. Trust leads us to sit in the chair, but faith tells us that even if that chair falls apart, we will still be ok. Having faith in God doesn’t mean that He will protect us from all pain and disappointment. God’s plan isn’t to keep us comfortable, sitting back in a recliner that has cupholders and built in remotes. The chairs we sit in may hold us, but some will most definitely break. So, what are we to do? Should we stay standing our whole life, keeping ourselves safe by never sitting down in a chair that may or may not hold? Absolutely not.

God promises that He is trustworthy; that we can rely on Him even when everything seems broken.

I love the words of Phillip Yancey, “Faith means believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse.” We choose friends and spouses and experiences because they enrich this life that God has given us. God doesn’t want us to be timid believers who walk around in fear all the time, waiting for the next chair to break. He wants us to step out in trust, reinforced with faith, knowing that even if the whole world seems to fall apart, He will still hold us.

My family and I recently returned from a medical mission trip to Haiti. We met a special person who changed our lives. His name was Edison. He was eight months old but so malnourished and sick that he weighed only 14 pounds, the average size of a four-month-old. His nine-year-old brother, Esky, brought him to our medical clinic in Croix de Bouquets, Haiti, on a Sunday afternoon.

Words don’t come easy when you try to fathom the childhood his brother has lost, having to care for his baby brother, and the heartache he felt as he told the doctors that his baby sister had recently died. The volunteer medical team examined baby Edison and found that he was riddled with disease. Among them were syphilis and HIV. He had been born with these diseases, which had caused his mother to be mentally incapable to care for him, as her body was succumbing to their damaging effects. Our hearts were broken as we wished we could have done more. All we could offer was water to hydrate him, hugs and prayers.

Edison was the topic of many conversations during our short time in Haiti.

I learned more about HIV and AIDS than I’ve ever known, and I was overwhelmed. I believe with everything in me that God creates every human being with a specific purpose, and that every single one of us has an inherent value simply because God created us and breathed life into us. That value is permanent! It can’t be added to or taken away from. So, I knew God had a purpose for Edison; that God knew the number of his days, and that every one of those days mattered.

Oh, how I wished that we could extend the number of those days because they seemed so very painfully short. But God never starts a story without finishing it.

On our way home, 10 out of our team of 30 people missed our connecting flight. We embraced the unexpected adventure after the annoyance of the lack of efficiency of the customs procedures (don’t get me started). This is where the story gets really cool. After pleading with the restaurant staff to stay open late, so we could use our vouchers for our comped meal, they agreed, and we were all grateful to finally eat some dinner.

A couple walked up to us and began sharing about how they had missed their flight as well. I recognized them from the airport in Haiti. We exchanged small talk, and as they explained more of what they were in Haiti for, we found out some incredible news. You ready for this? They run a clinic in Croix de Bouquets where they specifically treat HIV and AIDS patients for FREE! We all gasped and rubbed the goosebumps that were raising on all of our arms. My 15-year-old daughter looked at us and said with certainty, “This is why we’re here. This is why we missed our flight!” Tiny baby Edison’s life was important enough to God that He brought so many people together for His rescue operation. Those who were left behind at the airport became those who got to watch it all unfold from front row seats.

I have seen again and again the way that God chooses to use us to accomplish His purposes.

What may seem like a coincidence to some is actually an obvious work of God. Had we been on that flight home to L.A., we wouldn’t have been in that hotel lobby sitting next to people who run a clinic for HIV / AIDS. Every minuscule bit of our trip was orchestrated intentionally to place us exactly where we needed to be at exactly the right time! Isn’t that amazing! God wants to do the same for you. If God works so hard to rescue a baby with a less than desirable outlook, don’t you think He wants to rescue you? He does, my friend. My prayer for you is that you will know that you are loved, treasured and valued above what you could ever imagine. God is trying to get your attention. He wants to rescue you today. Will you let Him?

For more information and to support baby Edison, click here!

It was a difficult conversation. Don’t you hate those? I thought I was right; they thought they were right, which resulted in a heated war of the words. Unfortunately, the exchange escalated, and all of a sudden, I transformed into some sort of fire-breathing dragon bent on destroying any words that might come against me. I thought I was good. I thought I was sensible and wise and kind. But, when it was over, as I stepped back to see the damage that remained after my fiery defense, there was no mistaking it. My pride had won.

There’s always a bit of a war within us during those unavoidable conflicts in life.

I find that I have a deep desire to be understood, yet the other person longs for the same. So, what I’m forgetting is to try to understand. See, if I am letting God direct my words and my actions, I will seek to understand while I am being understood. Have I confused you yet? Work with me here…my pride had taken hold of my heart and mind and told me, “You do whatever you have to do to MAKE them understand that you are right!”, while the voice of the Holy Spirit, getting softer and softer, was whispering, “Be quiet and try to listen and understand what THEY are saying.”

What did I learn from this? Well, first of all, I was acutely reminded that residing in me is the incredibly awful ability to tear someone apart with my words.

I looked back with deep regret at words I couldn’t take back.

You may be wondering, “Well, what if I really am right, and they aren’t trying to understand?” As always, God is a step ahead of us! Remember in chapter 14 of Exodus, when Pharaoh agreed to let the Israelites out of captivity? Well, not too long after they were let go, Pharaoh was like, “Wait a minute! Why would I let all that free labor walk out of here? Let’s go get them back!” Pharaoh and his men went after the Israelites, and as they saw their enemy approaching, the Israelites freaked out! I mean, they were so scared, they regretted being freed from slavery! That is major freak-out material right there! Can I just say how thankful I am that God didn’t call me to be a Moses. What a whining group of people. (We wouldn’t have whined any less, I’m sure.)

Moses told the people, whom God had put into his care, “Chill out! Just stand there and watch God take these creeps down!” This is, of course, the Shannon version. But in all seriousness, God, through Moses, comforted His people by reminding them that HE is the one who fights the battles in front of us. The Israelites didn’t need to defend themselves, because they had God on their side. Over and over, throughout the wilderness time of the Israelites, we see God come through for them, feed them and rescue them. He meets their every need, and He indeed fulfilled His promise.

What does this mean for us? It means that we will all fight battles figuratively, and sometimes even literally.

We have a choice to make.

We can choose to let God fight for us, or we can choose to morph into a really ugly, fire-breathing dragon. I wouldn’t recommend the latter. From now on, I know what I will choose. I will choose to let God come rescue me. Not necessarily rescue me from the person I am “fighting” with, but I need Him to rescue me from my deep, fleshly desire to MAKE myself be understood. The truth is, God gets me, He understands me, and He knows what my motives are. His opinion is the one I care about the most.

And here’s the coolest part…are you ready for this? When I put my efforts into honoring God first, I will, in turn, honor others. He has promised in Ezekiel 36:26 to give me a new heart and a new Spirit. He vows to take away the rough edges and place in me a heart that wants to honor Him. That breathes new life into me, which I can breathe out towards others. It also takes away that fire that I had previously wanted to breathe out.